The Single Festival-Single Day Policy

As a child, the immense number of festivals celebrated in India used to be a source of deep excitement and joy. I'm not just talking about the large ones, like Diwali or Gokulashtami or Navaratri, but even the relatively smaller ones- Rama Navami, Ganesh Chaturthi, Shivaratri etc (these "smaller" ones may be the bigger ones for other people, not just in other parts of India, but really, even within our own family and these have also changed with times). Basiclaly though, my childhood memories of festivals are basically linked to the different types of foods and sweets the extended family would make, under the iron thumb of my Ajji.

My Ajji, like the General of an army, would plan out the menu for each festival weeks in advance, communicate with her troops (daughters and daughter in law), get everyone organized, get everyTHING organized (including additional stoves, fuel, boxes for storage, plans for how much to give which neighbour in addition to the family itself, in addition to the actual ingredients themselves), and the preparations for the bhakshanams would begin a few days in advance. The whole household would re- align towards the kitchen and its frenzy.

In my young adulthood, this would irritate me- I needed the house to stay aligned to my needs as a professional- lunch boxes, tiffins etc to continue as they were without any interruption (yes,yes, I have never made any secret of my self-absorption). I would haphazardly offer my help, especially in the cleaning, but the actual cooking would be off-limits, due to Ajji's strictness about madi and lack of samashrayanam etc. This is the reason none of us grandkids who grew up in the same house ever learned to cook and went into the wide world blissfully unaware of the burdens of cooking.

As a full fledged adult, with more than a decade of living and working in India, handling both natal and marital home expectations of festivals and their samskaramas, I have over time developed this policy:
a) I will only focus on one festival a year, and that too, only for one day. Not for me the 3 days of Diwali, or the 9 of Rama Navami or the 10 of Navaratri. For this one festival, I will do all, most, many some of the things my mom and Ajji used to do: clean the house, get rid of the old stuff, plan the food, make the food, and get the altar ready.
b) I refuse to give anybody any bhakshanams that I have made...are you kidding? I can make maybe one portion of a sweet and a karam somehow. If I have to give, then it's a separate plan and in that case, I will cut down on the things that I can make for the kids. It's either the kids or the others and I can only pick one.
c) This single festival changes from year to year, depending on how I feel. For instance, two years ago, it was Ugadi. Last year it was Gokulashtami. This year, it's been Diwali (Nov 8, Naraka Chaturthi, to be exact. No Dhanteras, Bali Padyami stuff for me, thanks).
d) For all other festivals, either go to a temple, or pray to the sun from your home. God is everywhere after all and isn't particularly waiting for your specific prasadam to bless you.
e) For those persistent fellows who either ask you why you aren't celebrating something or invite you to their houses for archana-kumkuma, either smile mysteriously, or claim you aren't celebrating it this year (truth) or that you have your periods (it's not a lie- unlike what conservatives think, periods are not a single defining event, they are a process and a cycle... and therefore there is no beginning or end. Also, periods have to come in use SOMEtime: they always end up ruining a woman's plans, so one might as well reap some benefits. And anyway, who the hell is going to check? The days when an elderly woman of the house would keep count of all the women's cycles are over and hurray for that).So take that time and spend it sleeping. Perimenopause or menopause may mess up your night time sleep, but it does make you sleepy at other times, so why not take that nap in the middle of the day?

After the implementation of this policy into practice, I can happily claim these benefits: - No festival fatigue - None of the sheer exhaustion that overcomes the average Indian woman between August to Nov every year - Only excitement over the next year's festival season. In contrast, the average Indian woman, by the end of November, is in a catatonic state and will burst into tears thinking of next year and the year after that... and the year after that.

Shankaracharya says, there is no difference between God and you (and me). So why should we differentiate between Gods? The same prasadam that you make for Diwali for Rama (or Krishna, I can never tell who), is the same offering for Ganesha and Shiva and Parvathi and Lakshmi and everyone else.

Now, you may say, Varsha, your kids won't have the same memories of festivals or carry the same rituals over to their adulthoods. True... then again, my memories of festivals aren't my parents'. I do not carry these rituals over even after being exposed to them. But, I accept that this is a valid point. BUt it's not my particular goal. Your mileage, as the saying goes, may of course vary.