Wednesday, January 2, 2013

The Name Game

What's in a name, after all?

Everything, I think. Or at the very least, a lot. A name can be, and is, more than just a label. A name embodies traits and meanings and can serve as a beacon to its holder.

And that's why choosing a name for one's child can be so fraught with stress. It needs to be perfect!

The process of choosing a name is just as important as the name itself. In my parents' and grandparents' generations, the process of choosing a baby's name was very different than it is in mine. In their generations, the name was likely to be chosen and bestowed, not by the parents, but by the family elder, or a priest or a scholar, in a process completely entwined with family politics and dynamics.
In my household (if not generation), Ram and I are democratic and exclusive in equal parts. We are adamant that the choice should be ours, while being receptive to the ideas of close family members. And we follow a democratic process between ourselves: we discuss possible sources of names and shortlist some, go through the sources, pick a list of names and discuss those. This process has worked really well so far.

However, I'm finding that choosing a name for a daughter is harder than choosing a name for a son.

When I was pregnant with Ani, Ram and I had a sure-shot method of finding a name. We got hold of a copy of the Vishnu Sahasranamam (a convenient repository of 1000 names of Vishnu), parked ourselves down on the floor and chanted out the text. And sure enough, within a few pages, we found the name that we both liked, which not only sounded good, but was rich in the meaning that we wanted our son's name to have: Aniruddha means unstoppable, someone who recognizes no barriers. This, we felt, was a good trait for a son to have. It would inspire him to great heights and help him overcome difficulties on his way. Plus, it was also the name of a grandson of Krishna, a God who is much loved by both Ram and me.

Now, there are tons of girls' names that sound incredibly pretty. The names that leap to my mind are variations of 'happy' (Shambhavi, for example) or 'playful' (Lalitha, a favorite of mine), or 'beautiful' (too many to list).

But what do I want my daughter to be? Sure, she should be happy and playful and no doubt, she will be beautiful. But I want her to be so much more! I would like my daughter to be strong, resilient, fierce,  truthful, and optimistic. I also want her to be ethical, just, and loyal. So she needs a name that reminds her of all this. She needs a name that will lift her out of darkness and show her the light.

So the hunt for the perfect name is still on.