Hopefully it will work to nudge me into a better frame of mind.
Sometimes, I wonder if psychologists and psychiatrists around the world are seeing an increased number of patients with anxiety in their practices, because seriously, who cannot be anxious in a world like this?
My anxiety levels have definitely reached higher levels than they used to be earlier (wait, is that true? Or is it that I never understood that the churning feelings inside could be termed anxiety?) and I get even more anxious if I read the newspapers. So I try not to read the papers... or FB or any of the social media outlets that show anything about the state of the world. I get filtered news from other sources and I can retain a modicum of control. Or I watch the late night comedies on YouTube where I get (mostly American) news but it is presented in a fun way. Why can't Indian TV make high quality comedy on daily news, where we get information but it doesn't stress one out like crazy? Don't we have enough smart, funny people in our country too? But no, Indian news only makes one feel horrible about one's country and one's life. And I think this is a form of addiction: watch the news to feel glum and full of despair so that you can't find the energy to take responsibility for any action.
Another thing that makes me anxious is the pollution where we live (though it is significantly lower than where we used to live- if there were a prize for tolerance to living in pollution, the people living on the street where my parents used to will definitely win it hands down). I was driving down from Mysore last weekend to Bangalore... and I kid you not, as we entered Bangalore outskirts, we could see a thick, grey-green cloudy haze hanging suspended over the city. This is the miasma under which we go about our daily lives- we add to it, and we breathe it every single minute.
The biggest source of stress and anxiety, although it is also usually accompanied by a sense of excitement and dread in equal parts, is my company. How to make enough revenue, how to break free from the shackles of loans, how to thrive ... these are questions that equally frighten and thrill me. It's like a roller-coaster ride at Six Flags. What also scares me is the scenario where you build all the momentum and the suspense, but the ride isn't what you anticipated it would be- it falls flat and you have to tell yourself that it was ok and that it was a good experience anyway.
Ram told me about an exercise for fear management written way back by one of the Buddhist monks in Sanskrit (truly, I am beginning to understand why so many entrepreneurs read philosophical texts... everything that one goes through now has been gone through by thousands before and there are musings, gleanings and reflections that help put things in perspective). He might have changed it a bit to suit my preferred method of reflection (which is to write), but the basic principles of working through stress remain the same:
Before the start of every venture or every learning, there is a mixture of feelings.
a) Acknowledge the feelings
b) Identify them by their name. If you can't name a feeling, describe it in detail so others may help you identify it. ("This feeling makes me ....")
c) Show gratitude for the positive feelings, like happiness, excitement, optimism etc. Clarify why you might be happy, excited etc. Write down your expectations and reasons why.
d) Focus on the "negative" feelings, like fear and stress. Write down exactly what your fears and sources of stress are. If you worry about losing your money, or other resources, or if you worry that you will fail at meeting expectations, or if you are afraid that you will lose out on other opportunities, write these down ("What if I....?"). Clarify what those failed expectations or missed opportunities might be.
e) Rank each of these in order and then tackle each one in turn from the highest ranked to the lowest ranked.
f) Imagine each fear as a person. This person is someone who is honorable, well-respected and a person of integrity from whom you can learn a lot.
g) Imagine going to each person (who is actually a fear that you have acknowledged, identified, listed and ranked). What is the one thing that you would request each of them to teach you? Frame these questions beginning with "Help me.... " (help me... accomplish ... )
Let me show you what I mean by copying down what I'd written a few days ago:
a) What tools and skills do I need to scale the wall of getting no deals or not knowing how deliver on these deals/ promises?
b) How do I ensure that my team and I can handle the new work without dropping the old ones?
c) How do I build a team around me that is excited, motivated and sees their success as our success?
d) How do I get 2.5 crore rupees this year in revenue?
e) How do I build a team of mentors and interact with them often enough that I am prepared to think fast and pivot appropriately?
But Ram told me that this list above makes no request, and only asks for advice. The key to progressing is to make these fears into team members and allies.
So I changed my list to this:
a) Help me get orders and make deals
b) Help me keep track of orders and deliver on promises
c) Help me create a team of mentors, partners and collaborators excited about the prospect of working with me.
d) Help me get 2.5 crore rupees in revenue in 2020.
And oh, guess what? I started this blog in a state of utter stress and anxiety. I'm glad to report that I've truly done what the title assured me I would- I have destressed and am feeling excited and motivated again.
