How do people teach little kids without losing their patience? Especially if the kids show attitude and generally behave like little brats?
My mom was there to help me with the kids and their school work till last year. I managed it somehow after she passed on, mostly by concentrating on D and letting A do things his own way. But this led to A doing not-so-great in Hindi and Kannada, his nemesis subjects, though he ended up with As or Bs in the other subjects.
This academic year, D is in first grade, has a full schedule of subjects and I entered this with some pretty high expectations for A. I felt he was getting lackadaisical and lazy and wanted him to feel like he ought to give things his best shot.
Well, the year has only just begun and already I'm ready to pull my hair out and bang my head against the wall.
A has developed a sneering, know-it-all 'tude- he only wants to keep watching cricket or playing it. He yells at me, refuses to write down anything and wants to skim through the stuff in the most superficial manner.
D is the other extreme: gets extremely anxious about everything, bursts into tears if she feels something is incorrect and generally panics if she can't find something, whether it's a pencil or a notebook.
Getting them to study at the same time is an exercise in juggling- giving one kid an assignment and teaching the other, while also answering the first kid's questions and grumblings and ignoring everyone whining.
God, writing this makes me realize how out-of-control this classroom is. I don't think I should be teaching the kids anymore. This is some sort of mental abuse I'm subjecting everyone to, with the yelling and drama. I need to dial my expectations way, way down.
Is this why people put their kids in tuition class ?
I need to change my attitude entirely. Although, how? Tell Ani that he's free to study the way he wants? Maybe I should only intervene with Hindi and Kannada and leave the rest to him (Though... God, it makes me cringe when I see his mistakes in Maths... but no, that way lies mental torture. I need to let him make his mistakes, but also need to teach him that he and only he can put the effort into doing something well. How the hell do other parents bring up their kids? How does one push somebody hard without tipping them over the edge? Where is the manual for these kinds of things?)
With Durga, I need to give her some constant, low-level attention, instead of piling on the pressure just before any exam. And I need to give her some cuddles and physical affection to calm her down. Not scold her for getting tensed.
I am the problem in this scenario, I think. And it will only improve if I step back, take a deep breath and trust my children.
Can I just say, I miss my mom! I know it's been over a year and I need to move on, but it's times like these when I really really miss both my parents and I really wish I could just kind of hand over the kids to someone a bit wiser, more loving and more patient.
