I've prided myself on being flexible, quick to change, quick to respond and not be bogged down by what is supposed to be done.
I fancied myself a bit of a rebel against rules.
I've careened through life without bothering about processes.
I am an utter total idiot.
My lack of discipline, my dislike of creating routines or processes for aspects of life I am not automatically drawn to, are getting me into huge amounts of trouble everywhere. MSCH, 11 months after commercial ops, is growing. It's no longer a one-woman army: we have staff, we have billing software, we have a financial team, we have auditors, tax returns to file, marketing plans and a million other things that elevate a company from a shop.
And I am not stepping up. I've been sticking my head into the ground and refusing to acknowledge that I need to play nice to move up. I have been nostalgically comparing the complexity of today to the rustic simplicity of the 'good old days' when it was just me and a sterile hood in a 4 by 8 corner of RK's clinic and I could keep track of everything.
God. Just call me a Trumper.
I just had a really horrible experience with a patient and I look back and realize the sheer number of things I did wrong in this entire series of encounters with this guy and I can't figure out how to fix it.
Well, other than going to the rest of the team and having some really really difficult conversations.
And coming out of it wiser and less trigger-happy.
I need to create some processes for every step of the patient-lab interaction along with my team and I need to learn to stick with it. Otherwise, I am Sarah Palin Going Rogue and MSCH becomes the 2008 election. Or I am the white male Trump supporter and MSCH is my coal mine- or is it the other way around? Whatever. I become harmful to the company.
Gotta step up and get ready to play with the big guns now.
