Do you know Libgen? It's my mainstay for free ebooks. And one day, in a fit of boredom, as I was typing in random names of authors trying to find a book, anything, to pass the time, the auto-fill feature came up with "Sylvia Plath". I've heard of Sylvia Plath, who hasn't? But, having never read any of her works, and having an innate distrust of poetry (such a philistine!), decided I would first read her biography and then decide.
Have been reading her biography as well as some of her poems these past few days.
Phew! Feel-good reading, it is not. Yet, her poetry is magnetic. It's like bringing the North poles of two magnets near each other- they repel but they keep circling each other. I can't read more than one poem at a time and I can't bear reading too much of her life- it's too much! Too much of everything- violence, passion, anger, love, tragedy, everything! Perhaps this is how she appeared to the many men in her life- endlessly fascinating and irrevocably difficult.
I recall, in a critical reading class in English that I had attended many years ago, we were asked to read the assigned pieces by taking them piecemeal, removing them from the context of the author's life (which, in hindsight, seems a bit counter-productive, but what the heck), to be able to analyze the depth of truth, and to ponder on the construction of the sentences and so on. With Plath's poetry, that attempt would be laughable- every thought in every of those lines is about her, you can't remove her from the poem (not least because the poems are confessionals; she writes about her life); but overshadowing every line of every poem (that I have read, anyway) is her death. Among the reviews I read was one that said that her poems felt like they had been written posthumously. I couldn't agree more.
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Thursday, March 17, 2016
Red Letter Month
Sometimes I get stuck on an idea for a blogpost and keep procrastinating writing on my blog because I think I ought to write down that idea first. But in the meantime, life goes on and other things come up and I don't note them down because I'm still stuck on that increasingly elusive idea.
I've been meaning to write on our trips to Nandi Hills for a few weeks now, but feel rather lazy because God, there is a lot to write about. But in the meantime, lots of things have happened and if I don't write down the most important of these, I will forget and that is unforgivable.
Most of these big, important events happened within the space of a few days, certainly within one week. I don't know what kind of cosmic activity aligned multiple stars at exactly the right place at the right time, but I am blessed... and bewildered by the influx of good tidings... blessedly bewildered? Or bewilderedly blessed? Ok.. whatever.. good things have happened and I am grateful to the Higher Beings.
Firstly, the kids have got admission in a decent school. Hurray! They both (yes, even the little one) appeared for entrance exams, interviews etc and did well enough that they can start there in June. Phew!
Secondly, the NGO where I was working pro bono has suddenly come into some money and they created a position for me and I will get paid for things that I really enjoyed doing for free :)
And thirdly, I managed to get my butt to the BBMP urban primary health care center at Koramangala and spend 2-3 hours talking with new mothers and counseling them about nutrition, breastfeeding and general postnatal issues. This has traditionally been a bit difficult, because to get to this UPHC I need to first get to St.Philomena's hospital before 10am and catch their shuttle. And if the kids get delayed or if I haven't woken up early enough that day, then I can't get to St.P on time.
But the real reason last week was such a milestone in my life was because I stood up for myself in a couple of situations, which traditionally I would have let slip with lingering feelings of resentment. A co-worker in the same NGO I mentioned above was giving me huge amounts of attitude over the draft of a research paper we were co-authoring. She was the first author, the main driving force behind the study, but had let the project slide to the back burner after writing up a preliminary report. When I joined, I reanalyzed the data and wrote up the first few drafts of a research paper. And ended up getting comments like "No where have you mentioned this fact.... this is a crucial piece that absolutely needs to be included" etc. Initially, I let this slide, making excuses for her. But this kept happening. So finally, I wrote back complimenting her on her insights, then reminded her of our shared goals and told her that comments like the ones she had been writing (and here, I copy-pasted her exact statements so she knew which ones I was talking about) would result in negative thoughts entering an otherwise positive collaboration. I ended the email by reminding her that the draft of the paper had been passed around precisely so that other members of the team could include or modify it as they deemed appropriate.
Well, she wrote back immediately, apologizing to me and we moved on from then. I feel really good about the way this was resolved. I am generally scared of confrontation, but in this case, I didn't let myself wallow in resentment but took positive action. However (yes, there is a "but"), while I am happy with the way things worked out, I see a real change in my attitude towards this project. I no longer feel as invested in it...so is it because a) there are still some lingering issues inside me, or b) I've learned a cautionary lesson- not to get too attached to any idea? I still have to resolve this question. My sense that it is (b), but some deeper introspection is required.
Other major strides in leadership:
a) Standing my ground for authorship: steadfastly supported my conviction of my right to be listed in a particular place in the authorship list in one of these research papers... phew! These are hard conversations and at least twice before in my admittedly limited publication history, I have bowed to outside pressure. This time, I didn't and that makes me feel awfully grown up...
b) Making my antenatal and postnatal consulting sessions at St.P "by appointment only", so that I don't have to go there and sit and waste my time.
So yeah, big strides.
I've been meaning to write on our trips to Nandi Hills for a few weeks now, but feel rather lazy because God, there is a lot to write about. But in the meantime, lots of things have happened and if I don't write down the most important of these, I will forget and that is unforgivable.
Most of these big, important events happened within the space of a few days, certainly within one week. I don't know what kind of cosmic activity aligned multiple stars at exactly the right place at the right time, but I am blessed... and bewildered by the influx of good tidings... blessedly bewildered? Or bewilderedly blessed? Ok.. whatever.. good things have happened and I am grateful to the Higher Beings.
Firstly, the kids have got admission in a decent school. Hurray! They both (yes, even the little one) appeared for entrance exams, interviews etc and did well enough that they can start there in June. Phew!
Secondly, the NGO where I was working pro bono has suddenly come into some money and they created a position for me and I will get paid for things that I really enjoyed doing for free :)
And thirdly, I managed to get my butt to the BBMP urban primary health care center at Koramangala and spend 2-3 hours talking with new mothers and counseling them about nutrition, breastfeeding and general postnatal issues. This has traditionally been a bit difficult, because to get to this UPHC I need to first get to St.Philomena's hospital before 10am and catch their shuttle. And if the kids get delayed or if I haven't woken up early enough that day, then I can't get to St.P on time.
But the real reason last week was such a milestone in my life was because I stood up for myself in a couple of situations, which traditionally I would have let slip with lingering feelings of resentment. A co-worker in the same NGO I mentioned above was giving me huge amounts of attitude over the draft of a research paper we were co-authoring. She was the first author, the main driving force behind the study, but had let the project slide to the back burner after writing up a preliminary report. When I joined, I reanalyzed the data and wrote up the first few drafts of a research paper. And ended up getting comments like "No where have you mentioned this fact.... this is a crucial piece that absolutely needs to be included" etc. Initially, I let this slide, making excuses for her. But this kept happening. So finally, I wrote back complimenting her on her insights, then reminded her of our shared goals and told her that comments like the ones she had been writing (and here, I copy-pasted her exact statements so she knew which ones I was talking about) would result in negative thoughts entering an otherwise positive collaboration. I ended the email by reminding her that the draft of the paper had been passed around precisely so that other members of the team could include or modify it as they deemed appropriate.
Well, she wrote back immediately, apologizing to me and we moved on from then. I feel really good about the way this was resolved. I am generally scared of confrontation, but in this case, I didn't let myself wallow in resentment but took positive action. However (yes, there is a "but"), while I am happy with the way things worked out, I see a real change in my attitude towards this project. I no longer feel as invested in it...so is it because a) there are still some lingering issues inside me, or b) I've learned a cautionary lesson- not to get too attached to any idea? I still have to resolve this question. My sense that it is (b), but some deeper introspection is required.
Other major strides in leadership:
a) Standing my ground for authorship: steadfastly supported my conviction of my right to be listed in a particular place in the authorship list in one of these research papers... phew! These are hard conversations and at least twice before in my admittedly limited publication history, I have bowed to outside pressure. This time, I didn't and that makes me feel awfully grown up...
b) Making my antenatal and postnatal consulting sessions at St.P "by appointment only", so that I don't have to go there and sit and waste my time.
So yeah, big strides.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)