Perhaps it's the fact that many procedures in molecular biology are seemingly persnickety: the wrong pH, the wrong temperature, the wrong way of agitating a solution can throw an experiment completely off and can take a scientist ages to figure out what went wrong. Mol Bio is something like Potions, in Harry Potter: if you stir a pot 5 times clockwise, instead of anti-clockwise, under a half moon, instead of a full moon, you are bound to turn yourself into a frog.
Experimental molecular biologists spend ages optimizing protocols and are notoriously conservative about change: nobody follows "if it works, don't fix it" as a molecular biologist. A protocol might take 8 hours, but a mol biologist won't approach a quicker protocol without many mental palpitations, prayers, qualms and shudders. And even after trying the quicker method, he/she may well shrug and say, "My old method was better. It might take me a day and a half of incessant labor, but I think the yield and the quality were better"
Thus, if such a person were to use a premade kit and got beautiful results, well... this person will be unlikely to use any another product for that purpose.
This is the mentality that companies selling molecular biology products take full advantage of. Check out Qiagen's whole genome amplification kit: they have one for genomic DNA, one for frozen tissue and one for single cells; each one more expensive than the previous. But the underlying principle of amplification is exactly the same.
When you check out their protocol for each of these kits, the components are named different in order to make a consumer feel like they are paying (an arm and a leg) for something secretive and magic that will instantly provide them with the answers they seek.
For example, take Table 5 of the Repli-G Single Cell Handbook "Preparation of the master mix"
Component:
H2O sc
Repli-g sc Reaction Buffer
Repli-g sc DNA Polymerase
Now take Table 3 of the Repli-G MiniMidi Handbook "Preparation of the master mix"
Component:
Nuclease free water
Repli-g Mini Reaction Buffer
Repli-g Mini DNA Polymerase.
They are exactly the same components, being marketed under different names. But can you use the Repli-g Mini kit (cost for 25 reactions $199) for a single cell amplification, instead of the Single Cell kit (cost for 24 reactions $488) ? No! Because they have tested the Single Cell kit on single cells and they know that it works. If you were to use the cheaper kit, for this application for which it is not suited, they cannot guarantee that you would get consistent and reliable results.
The hapless lab tech/ grad student/ postdoc convinces the PI that the money must be spent, and the expensive kit is bought, which probably works beautifully and now, this person will continue to buy the more expensive kit and will never try out the cheaper kit because of the suggestion that it might not work.
Shoot. Gotta stop before I am ready. And when I come back, I'd have forgotten the original point of this post....
Friday, December 13, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
The Silly New Fad in Scientific Paper Publishing
What's this new fad of putting up the picture of the lead author in scientific publications?
It's useless and distracting. I glance at the paper and instead of focusing on the title, my eye is caught by this picture... and I wonder how she can see with hair falling across her eyes, if she's outdoors trekking somewhere, if this picture was recent, how much this lady can trek, whether she had this picture taken specifically for this paper, and if so, why did she choose this particular picture, and if I don't have something better to do than wonder about random people.
Please, publishers, don't waste the 3-5 minutes of my attention that you've grabbed. Just tell me the main scientific story and store the biography for a news release. That same space could have better used by putting a little box with the highlights of the paper.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Kids, Language and Accents
Ani has a friend, L, in preschool.
L's parents speak Tamil to her, insist on her answering in Tamil and speak Tamil to each other.
I speak Tamil to Ani, but it is peppered with English. English is the language with which RK, Ani and I converse.
Ani speaks English with a strong Indian accent at home (complete with the head bobs... I didn't realize that either RK or I did that until Ani started doing it) and English with a strong American accent at preschool. He understands Tamil but he doesn't think in it. On the other hand, L speaks English only with an American accent, but Tamil with a Tamil accent.
Even more interesting: L calls Ani the way his name is supposed to be pronounced: A-nee
However, when she refers to him in the third person, he becomes 'Aah-nee', the American-accented version of his name.
It's one thing to read about kids unconsciously absorbing the culture around them, quite another to see it in real life.
L's parents speak Tamil to her, insist on her answering in Tamil and speak Tamil to each other.
I speak Tamil to Ani, but it is peppered with English. English is the language with which RK, Ani and I converse.
Ani speaks English with a strong Indian accent at home (complete with the head bobs... I didn't realize that either RK or I did that until Ani started doing it) and English with a strong American accent at preschool. He understands Tamil but he doesn't think in it. On the other hand, L speaks English only with an American accent, but Tamil with a Tamil accent.
Even more interesting: L calls Ani the way his name is supposed to be pronounced: A-nee
However, when she refers to him in the third person, he becomes 'Aah-nee', the American-accented version of his name.
It's one thing to read about kids unconsciously absorbing the culture around them, quite another to see it in real life.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Quote on attitude
“The longer I love, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church....a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes.”
― Charles R. Swindoll
Guess where I heard this? In a public bus in Boston!
Have been so inspired by this that I've resolved to maintaining a good attitude at all times.
And so far it's been 5 days (and counting)!
(kind of slipped up last night when I hissed at Ani harshly enough to upset him.... he kept trying to twist Durga's hand so he could hold it while going to sleep, making her wake up and cry, and making me want to rip my hair out)
Other fantastic news:
a) ASHG 2013! (See prev blog post for scant details)
b) Acadia/Boston! (yes, we were there. Beautiful and fun, both places. I'm so glad to be back home, though)
c) Figured out how to get average promoter methylations while controlling for CpG island presence!
(...aaand I just lost my audience with just that one sentence)
― Charles R. Swindoll
Guess where I heard this? In a public bus in Boston!
Have been so inspired by this that I've resolved to maintaining a good attitude at all times.
And so far it's been 5 days (and counting)!
(kind of slipped up last night when I hissed at Ani harshly enough to upset him.... he kept trying to twist Durga's hand so he could hold it while going to sleep, making her wake up and cry, and making me want to rip my hair out)
Other fantastic news:
a) ASHG 2013! (See prev blog post for scant details)
b) Acadia/Boston! (yes, we were there. Beautiful and fun, both places. I'm so glad to be back home, though)
c) Figured out how to get average promoter methylations while controlling for CpG island presence!
(...aaand I just lost my audience with just that one sentence)
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Notes from the ASHG 2013
My first gigantic conference! Used to attend Keystone as a grad student. Am at the American Society of Human Genetics annual conference in Boston this week and the scale of this is greater than anything I've attended before. Nearly 7000 attendees!
Currently at an exhibit hall which is the size of a football field, waiting for the President's speech.
In front of me is a Japanese group, all of whom bowed to each other multiple times. I imagine them saying "After you, dear chap" "No no, after you!" after each bow.
Multiple attempts to figure out who should sit down first.
10 minutes later: okay, they've figured it out. Now they've whipped out their cameras and are taking pictures of each other.
5 minutes later: they are now taking pictures with some of the award winners.
Update: oh wait! It's not an award winner who's posing for pics- it's the president!
Am sitting waay in the front- 4th row from the stage. I figure I should get my money's worth of education. No snoozing while at the conference! There are zillions of rows- there's supposed to be a screen every 25-30 rows, and I count 3. There are about 75 columns.
Currently at an exhibit hall which is the size of a football field, waiting for the President's speech.
In front of me is a Japanese group, all of whom bowed to each other multiple times. I imagine them saying "After you, dear chap" "No no, after you!" after each bow.
Multiple attempts to figure out who should sit down first.
10 minutes later: okay, they've figured it out. Now they've whipped out their cameras and are taking pictures of each other.
5 minutes later: they are now taking pictures with some of the award winners.
Update: oh wait! It's not an award winner who's posing for pics- it's the president!
Am sitting waay in the front- 4th row from the stage. I figure I should get my money's worth of education. No snoozing while at the conference! There are zillions of rows- there's supposed to be a screen every 25-30 rows, and I count 3. There are about 75 columns.
Monday, September 16, 2013
My article at the Family Medicine journal
http://www.stfm.org/fmhub/fm2013/September/Varsha582.pdf
Hurray!
What does it say about me when my sole first-author article in an academic journal is a creative writing piece, rather than a scholarly piece that advances science?
Note to self: Must publish PhD work. Soon! Aaarrggh!
Hurray!
What does it say about me when my sole first-author article in an academic journal is a creative writing piece, rather than a scholarly piece that advances science?
Note to self: Must publish PhD work. Soon! Aaarrggh!
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Ani-isms
"Mummy, you look like a princess!" when he saw me wearing a skirt.
"Turn around! Let me see!" So I spun around slowly, since I was also holding Durga.
"No, mummy! You have to twirl! Like this, see?" And he showed me how.
"Appa! You are three. You are too old to be keeping your keys like this on the couch!"
"Appa, don't you drink that dangerous coffee!" (advice when Ram wanted cappuccino)
"Appa, don't you buy any colored poxicles!" (more advice)
"Mummy, see I'm not holding my pee-pee. How convenient!" when he realized he could pee without spraying the room if he reversed his toilet seat.
Recently Read
New blog of mine (shared with Gotti): http://recentlyread.livejournal.com
It's an account of what we read and what we like and don't.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Hanging on....
7 days since my parents have left for India. I have managed things quite brilliantly.
I wake up at around 6; keep rice and dal in the cooker; wash the utensils; keep Durga's feeding bottles to boil; run up to brush teeth and take a bath; change clothes and run down and turn off the stove; make Ani's lunch; run up to change Durga's diaper and wake Ani up; run back down to pack his lunch; run back up to brush his teeth and get him ready for preschool; pick up Durga and play with her for a few minutes; run both of us back down and place her in the crib where she'll play; drink my milk; make breakfast for Ani; feed him; and off we go!
I'm in lab by 9:15 or so.
Is that efficient or what?
System works beautifully, unless I oversleep. But even then, I've got the steps until packing Ani's lunch down to 45 minutes pat. The step that is the most time-consuming is getting Ani to eat his breakfast, which always ends with me shoving the food down his throat.
Poor kid. I hope he's not too traumatized. He seems to view it all as a big joke, so I think he'll be fine.
__________************************************************____________________
Update on 22nd Aug (approximately 3 weeks since parents' departure)
Hmm... system needs reworking mainly because I lose my temper tremendously (Tremedous Inflammous would be my name, were I a character in Asterix) at Ani during breakfast.
Here's an updated version: make dal and rice at night. Eat breakfast with Ani. Much better moods all around.
I wake up at around 6; keep rice and dal in the cooker; wash the utensils; keep Durga's feeding bottles to boil; run up to brush teeth and take a bath; change clothes and run down and turn off the stove; make Ani's lunch; run up to change Durga's diaper and wake Ani up; run back down to pack his lunch; run back up to brush his teeth and get him ready for preschool; pick up Durga and play with her for a few minutes; run both of us back down and place her in the crib where she'll play; drink my milk; make breakfast for Ani; feed him; and off we go!
I'm in lab by 9:15 or so.
Is that efficient or what?
System works beautifully, unless I oversleep. But even then, I've got the steps until packing Ani's lunch down to 45 minutes pat. The step that is the most time-consuming is getting Ani to eat his breakfast, which always ends with me shoving the food down his throat.
Poor kid. I hope he's not too traumatized. He seems to view it all as a big joke, so I think he'll be fine.
__________************************************************____________________
Update on 22nd Aug (approximately 3 weeks since parents' departure)
Hmm... system needs reworking mainly because I lose my temper tremendously (Tremedous Inflammous would be my name, were I a character in Asterix) at Ani during breakfast.
Here's an updated version: make dal and rice at night. Eat breakfast with Ani. Much better moods all around.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
A disturbing article
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/14/fashion/sex-on-campus-she-can-play-that-game-too.html?src=me&ref=general
So much for women's empowerment.
Initially reading it, I thought it was an article highlighting equality of sexes- that the girls in this article seem to know what they want and how to get those things and seem to regard casual sex as a temporary respite.
But on further reading, it seems that nothing could be further than the truth. Why would all these intelligent girls put themselves in situations where they have no control over what happens to them? Why would they continue to drink and make themselves have sex with random men? What kind of a society encourages this to happen?
So much for women's empowerment.
Initially reading it, I thought it was an article highlighting equality of sexes- that the girls in this article seem to know what they want and how to get those things and seem to regard casual sex as a temporary respite.
But on further reading, it seems that nothing could be further than the truth. Why would all these intelligent girls put themselves in situations where they have no control over what happens to them? Why would they continue to drink and make themselves have sex with random men? What kind of a society encourages this to happen?
When in doubt...
...read politics!
This is a newly discovered panacea for self-doubt.
Next time I feel dejected about something that didn't happen the way I anticipated it would, I will merely open up the pages of the Washington Post and read about Mitch McConnell, John McCain and Harry Reid. These are politicians well-known in the United States.
McConnell survives the relentless derision he faces from comedians like Jon Stewart and continues to brazen out his increasingly rigid stance against Obama.
McCain lost the presidential elections and is among the most moderate and yet, important, Republicans in the Senate.
Think about Anthony Wiener. I would have fizzled down and shrunk away if I were caught sexting by the world. But look at him (or rather, don't look at him): up he springs again! :)
I need to take a page out of these people's stories and stop moping about some apparent setback in my life.
This is a newly discovered panacea for self-doubt.
Next time I feel dejected about something that didn't happen the way I anticipated it would, I will merely open up the pages of the Washington Post and read about Mitch McConnell, John McCain and Harry Reid. These are politicians well-known in the United States.
McConnell survives the relentless derision he faces from comedians like Jon Stewart and continues to brazen out his increasingly rigid stance against Obama.
McCain lost the presidential elections and is among the most moderate and yet, important, Republicans in the Senate.
Think about Anthony Wiener. I would have fizzled down and shrunk away if I were caught sexting by the world. But look at him (or rather, don't look at him): up he springs again! :)
I need to take a page out of these people's stories and stop moping about some apparent setback in my life.
Friday, July 5, 2013
Durga's milestone
Hurray! Durga flipped over on to her belly a couple of days ago! My little girl is getting big! And even better, she likes me! I used to think that she didn't really care if I was around her or not, but it is becoming increasingly clear that she misses me when I'm not around. Yaay! My little baby knows me now!
Sunday, June 16, 2013
The little Tamil boy- the real McCoy!
We had taken Ani to a place called Oglebay last year for a weekend. Now, Oglebay is in WV where the concept of vegetarian food is viewed with a certain amount of suspicion and scorn and sometimes, outright bewilderment. ["But... but why?" was the response at a restaurant when we asked for a meatless version of something]
Ani was in high excitement mode- very happy, singing loudly and giggling at the lyrics he mangled, usually by modifying all nouns and pronouns to the word "appo", which, in his language, refers to a big job in the loo. "Happy birthday to appo!" he sang loudly.
"And I'm only going to eat pasta and pizza, mummy", declared he. "No more tecchi mammam! No more uppu thuppa!"
We went there, had a great time in the zoo and the playground. The only drawback was the absence of any tasty vegetarian options: there was one pizza and one burger in the entire menu that were vegetarian. We started going to the Italian and Mexican restaurants in the neighboring town of Triadelphia for meals.
On the way back home on the third day, after a cheese-intense meal at one of these places, Ani groaned from the back seat "Mummy..... mummy, I only want tecchi mammam, mummy... I don't want anything else again"
Hah. Ani has passed the acid test for Tamil-nesss: a craving for tecchi mammam*!
*tecchi mammam, or thair sadam, for those not in the know: yogurt rice. South Indians, Tams especially, have been known to survive, and indeed thrive, only on that. It has to be the most evolved form of food invented by man.
Check out this post on the same by Sangeetha Iyer: http://livewire24.livejournal.com
Ani was in high excitement mode- very happy, singing loudly and giggling at the lyrics he mangled, usually by modifying all nouns and pronouns to the word "appo", which, in his language, refers to a big job in the loo. "Happy birthday to appo!" he sang loudly.
"And I'm only going to eat pasta and pizza, mummy", declared he. "No more tecchi mammam! No more uppu thuppa!"
We went there, had a great time in the zoo and the playground. The only drawback was the absence of any tasty vegetarian options: there was one pizza and one burger in the entire menu that were vegetarian. We started going to the Italian and Mexican restaurants in the neighboring town of Triadelphia for meals.
On the way back home on the third day, after a cheese-intense meal at one of these places, Ani groaned from the back seat "Mummy..... mummy, I only want tecchi mammam, mummy... I don't want anything else again"
Hah. Ani has passed the acid test for Tamil-nesss: a craving for tecchi mammam*!
*tecchi mammam, or thair sadam, for those not in the know: yogurt rice. South Indians, Tams especially, have been known to survive, and indeed thrive, only on that. It has to be the most evolved form of food invented by man.
Check out this post on the same by Sangeetha Iyer: http://livewire24.livejournal.com
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Morning Adventures
After feeding Durga this morning, I took her to where Ani was sleeping in another room. Ani likes to take a little walk around midnight: suppose he goes to bed in our room. Some time in the middle of the night, he will get up, walk over to my parents' room, shove my dad aside and climb into bed with him. He does this every night without fail. On the occasions that he falls asleep in my parents' room, he has the same routine in reverse. That is Ani's midnight walkabout.
So, I took Durga to where ever he was, and plonked her next to him, which had the happy result of Ani waking up and both kids talking, Durga gurgling and cooing, and Ani playing with her hands and hair. He has entered the 'Why' phase with its interminable questions, "Why is her hair like that, mummy? Why did she make that sound? Why doesn't she have any teeth? Why is she so small? Why are you picking her up? Why is your hair on my hand? Why did Robert pick up Lenna in the playground?' and so on and on and on.
When I tire of his questions, I take them downstairs where my mom is already knee-deep in Ammavasai preparations. 'Don't touch me!' she squeals at Ani when he makes a move to hug her. 'Give me 2 hours, and I'll take the kids', she tells me. Amma is in high-'madi' mode.
So I ask Ani, 'Oi, you need to go to the bathroom yet? You need to brush your teeth'
'Let me eat something first, mummy.'
This is a bad habit I've got Ani into (among one other big bad habit- that of watching TV while eating- and a bunch of smaller ones), but life is so much easier with him having eaten something before his tasks of the day start clamoring for attention.
He asks for alphabet-cookies, "P and umm... W!" he says. 'P' is Ani's favorite letter. It is also the first letter that he learned. My mom taught him that, and the letter F, from the book 'The Police Cloud', in which a cloud becomes a policeman and wears a blue cap with the letter 'P' on it and ultimately becomes a fireman cloud wearing a red cap with an 'F' on it. Ani knows all his letters, a fact that Amma and I take inordinate pleasure and pride in. He scrutinizes every piece of paper that comes his way and points out various alphabets. He doesn't do too well with lower-case letters yet, but he's a champ with upper-case letters.
As he gobbles up his cookies, I take him back upstairs, after handing Durga to my dad. Durga loves her Thatha- she greets him with a huge, toothless, dimpled grin every time she sees him. Her favorite sleeping position is on his tummy, where she plasters herself to him like a gecko on the wall.
Ani says, 'I need to go appo first, mummy. Take off my pants'. That being done, he places his toilet seat on top of the commode. I lift him and adjust his position. But oops- we've both forgotten about his little peepee, as they refer to it in his daycare. As he strains to do his appo, which is our word for #2, his peepee flies up and showers the whole room with pee.
'Eeek!' I scream, lunging towards him and tucking his peepee into the pot. 'Ani, seriously, how could you?' I scold.
Ani giggles. I mop up the pee from the floor and pull him back from the seat so I can throw the tissue paper into it.
'Don't make it drip on me!' Ani cries. 'Yeah, yeah, yeah', I grumble. 'Now do your thing, while I brush my teeth'.
We spend 5 minutes quietly, each lost in thoughts.
'Why do we flush our appo after it falls'? Ani asks. I explain the process of decomposition and its attendant odors.
Ani disregards all that. 'Because, if we don't... if we don't , the police will come and put us in jail!' he declares impressively.
'Speaking of appo, how are you doing?'
'I've done a big, BIG appo', Ani boasts.
'How big?', I ask.
"That big', he answers, spreading his hands wide.
'Really?' I ask skeptically.
I peek over his shoulder into the pot. 'Ani, there's nothing. Nothing! Try harder.'
As I comb my hair, some sounds emerge. 'There now, see?' I say encouragingly. 'That's how to do it'.
'No, mummy', Ani says, patiently. 'That's only gas'.
I say nothing, but roll my eyes when he can't see.
'Plop! Plop! Plop'
I swing around and meet Ani's eyes. We both grin widely. 'That's my munna', I say, with no small amount of pride. 'Yep!' Ani says.
After some more time, Ani says 'Mummy, I want to see how much I've done'. He hops down from the pot and we both peer into it.
'Wow, Ani', I say with respect. 'That's some appo you've done'.
He nods quietly.
'I'm so glad you're doing all this in the potty. What a relief!'
We clean him up, brush his teeth, and go down, where I pick up Durga as well.
'Hey, you want to drink some chocolate milk with me?', I ask.
'Okay!'
I bring down a large cup, and make enough milk for both of us. It's been a while since we shared a single cup of chocolate milk, but it's something we both like to do. Unfortunately, I have not taken into account all the things Ani has learned in his preschool in these intervening days. He takes a gulp of milk and instead of swallowing it, gargles with it in his mouth.
'Ani! That's disgusting! Don't do it!' I scold.
He giggles some more.
I ponder on the best way to handle this. Any more scolding, and I would just have an increasingly mischievous and giggling child on my hands.
But he seems to see sense and quietly drinks some more milk.
I congratulate myself for not making a bigger deal of his gargling earlier. I feed Durga.
Then. It happens. He takes in a gulp, gargles and spits it back out in the cup. I blink.
Retribution. But how best to achieve it?
Before I know it, he does it again, meets my eyes, and laughs.
I see red. I howl, 'Ani! What the heck are you doing? Stop that right now!'
He laughs and laughs, not taking me seriously at all.
I grab his hand, force him to meet my eyes, take on a gimlet stare and say, 'I do NOT like that. Stop it or I will punish you'.
It is his turn to blink. He is probably thinking this is a great game and he doesn't understand my response.
I repeat myself again, but instead of quiet firmness, I can only think of my lovely hot chocolate milk and how I can't bring myself to drink it anymore, and my voice comes out angry and resentful. Ani's face crumples and he launches himself off the couch and cries and goes to his Thatha.
I make myself another cup and tell myself it will be fine. My mom scolds me and tells me how I should be disciplining him, instead of the way I tried.
Ten minutes later, I go upstairs. Ani is watching a video of a car racing a bus. He looks at me and smiles. All is forgiven and forgotten.
So, I took Durga to where ever he was, and plonked her next to him, which had the happy result of Ani waking up and both kids talking, Durga gurgling and cooing, and Ani playing with her hands and hair. He has entered the 'Why' phase with its interminable questions, "Why is her hair like that, mummy? Why did she make that sound? Why doesn't she have any teeth? Why is she so small? Why are you picking her up? Why is your hair on my hand? Why did Robert pick up Lenna in the playground?' and so on and on and on.
When I tire of his questions, I take them downstairs where my mom is already knee-deep in Ammavasai preparations. 'Don't touch me!' she squeals at Ani when he makes a move to hug her. 'Give me 2 hours, and I'll take the kids', she tells me. Amma is in high-'madi' mode.
So I ask Ani, 'Oi, you need to go to the bathroom yet? You need to brush your teeth'
'Let me eat something first, mummy.'
This is a bad habit I've got Ani into (among one other big bad habit- that of watching TV while eating- and a bunch of smaller ones), but life is so much easier with him having eaten something before his tasks of the day start clamoring for attention.
He asks for alphabet-cookies, "P and umm... W!" he says. 'P' is Ani's favorite letter. It is also the first letter that he learned. My mom taught him that, and the letter F, from the book 'The Police Cloud', in which a cloud becomes a policeman and wears a blue cap with the letter 'P' on it and ultimately becomes a fireman cloud wearing a red cap with an 'F' on it. Ani knows all his letters, a fact that Amma and I take inordinate pleasure and pride in. He scrutinizes every piece of paper that comes his way and points out various alphabets. He doesn't do too well with lower-case letters yet, but he's a champ with upper-case letters.
As he gobbles up his cookies, I take him back upstairs, after handing Durga to my dad. Durga loves her Thatha- she greets him with a huge, toothless, dimpled grin every time she sees him. Her favorite sleeping position is on his tummy, where she plasters herself to him like a gecko on the wall.
Ani says, 'I need to go appo first, mummy. Take off my pants'. That being done, he places his toilet seat on top of the commode. I lift him and adjust his position. But oops- we've both forgotten about his little peepee, as they refer to it in his daycare. As he strains to do his appo, which is our word for #2, his peepee flies up and showers the whole room with pee.
'Eeek!' I scream, lunging towards him and tucking his peepee into the pot. 'Ani, seriously, how could you?' I scold.
Ani giggles. I mop up the pee from the floor and pull him back from the seat so I can throw the tissue paper into it.
'Don't make it drip on me!' Ani cries. 'Yeah, yeah, yeah', I grumble. 'Now do your thing, while I brush my teeth'.
We spend 5 minutes quietly, each lost in thoughts.
'Why do we flush our appo after it falls'? Ani asks. I explain the process of decomposition and its attendant odors.
Ani disregards all that. 'Because, if we don't... if we don't , the police will come and put us in jail!' he declares impressively.
'Speaking of appo, how are you doing?'
'I've done a big, BIG appo', Ani boasts.
'How big?', I ask.
"That big', he answers, spreading his hands wide.
'Really?' I ask skeptically.
I peek over his shoulder into the pot. 'Ani, there's nothing. Nothing! Try harder.'
As I comb my hair, some sounds emerge. 'There now, see?' I say encouragingly. 'That's how to do it'.
'No, mummy', Ani says, patiently. 'That's only gas'.
I say nothing, but roll my eyes when he can't see.
'Plop! Plop! Plop'
I swing around and meet Ani's eyes. We both grin widely. 'That's my munna', I say, with no small amount of pride. 'Yep!' Ani says.
After some more time, Ani says 'Mummy, I want to see how much I've done'. He hops down from the pot and we both peer into it.
'Wow, Ani', I say with respect. 'That's some appo you've done'.
He nods quietly.
'I'm so glad you're doing all this in the potty. What a relief!'
We clean him up, brush his teeth, and go down, where I pick up Durga as well.
'Hey, you want to drink some chocolate milk with me?', I ask.
'Okay!'
I bring down a large cup, and make enough milk for both of us. It's been a while since we shared a single cup of chocolate milk, but it's something we both like to do. Unfortunately, I have not taken into account all the things Ani has learned in his preschool in these intervening days. He takes a gulp of milk and instead of swallowing it, gargles with it in his mouth.
'Ani! That's disgusting! Don't do it!' I scold.
He giggles some more.
I ponder on the best way to handle this. Any more scolding, and I would just have an increasingly mischievous and giggling child on my hands.
But he seems to see sense and quietly drinks some more milk.
I congratulate myself for not making a bigger deal of his gargling earlier. I feed Durga.
Then. It happens. He takes in a gulp, gargles and spits it back out in the cup. I blink.
Retribution. But how best to achieve it?
Before I know it, he does it again, meets my eyes, and laughs.
I see red. I howl, 'Ani! What the heck are you doing? Stop that right now!'
He laughs and laughs, not taking me seriously at all.
I grab his hand, force him to meet my eyes, take on a gimlet stare and say, 'I do NOT like that. Stop it or I will punish you'.
It is his turn to blink. He is probably thinking this is a great game and he doesn't understand my response.
I repeat myself again, but instead of quiet firmness, I can only think of my lovely hot chocolate milk and how I can't bring myself to drink it anymore, and my voice comes out angry and resentful. Ani's face crumples and he launches himself off the couch and cries and goes to his Thatha.
I make myself another cup and tell myself it will be fine. My mom scolds me and tells me how I should be disciplining him, instead of the way I tried.
Ten minutes later, I go upstairs. Ani is watching a video of a car racing a bus. He looks at me and smiles. All is forgiven and forgotten.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
/Sigh/
I'm beginning to recall why I didn't like C programming back in college...
Python is supposed to among the easiest languages there is, and I'm struggling.
I have a simple enough exercise to do: there's a text with 4 lines, each containing the name of a sequence, followed by a space, and then a sequence.
All I need to do is to reformat the text into a FASTA format.
But oh lord, I'm tired of writing (actually, correcting) the code for this... every time I think, 'well, that has to be the right way of doing it', I get an 'Invalid syntax' message back.
Still, I HAVE to get this right, so back to the drawing board I go.
Python is supposed to among the easiest languages there is, and I'm struggling.
I have a simple enough exercise to do: there's a text with 4 lines, each containing the name of a sequence, followed by a space, and then a sequence.
All I need to do is to reformat the text into a FASTA format.
But oh lord, I'm tired of writing (actually, correcting) the code for this... every time I think, 'well, that has to be the right way of doing it', I get an 'Invalid syntax' message back.
Still, I HAVE to get this right, so back to the drawing board I go.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
June and Ani
June has proven to be a time when Ani makes great developmental leaps:
June 7th 2011: Ani took his first steps
June 2012: Ani stopped breastfeeding completely
June 2013: Ani is completely (and I do mean COMPLETELY) potty trained. Hurray! No more diapers? I certainly hope so!
June 7th 2011: Ani took his first steps
June 2012: Ani stopped breastfeeding completely
June 2013: Ani is completely (and I do mean COMPLETELY) potty trained. Hurray! No more diapers? I certainly hope so!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
More UNIX news
Today I used grep to quickly extract chromosome-specific info from a gigantic dataset and put them into separate files.
AND I found that grep -w will get me chr1 info without giving me chr10, chr11 etc.
Computer languages.... who would have thought I could find it so much fun? Or addictive?
I am also en route to learning Perl and Python.
Soon-to-be-computer-language-polyglot signing off...
AND I found that grep -w will get me chr1 info without giving me chr10, chr11 etc.
Computer languages.... who would have thought I could find it so much fun? Or addictive?
I am also en route to learning Perl and Python.
Soon-to-be-computer-language-polyglot signing off...
Friday, May 17, 2013
Varsha Shridhar is...
... learning Unix!! OMG!
....Taking a giant leap into the dark side!
Actually, this stuff is a lot more exciting than I'd envisioned.
Might I direct similarly clueless, yet interested, folks to this page: http://korflab.ucdavis.edu/Unix_and_Perl/
Hoping to be able to write my own Perl scripts to quickly extract large amounts of relevant genomic data!
....Taking a giant leap into the dark side!
Actually, this stuff is a lot more exciting than I'd envisioned.
Might I direct similarly clueless, yet interested, folks to this page: http://korflab.ucdavis.edu/Unix_and_Perl/
Hoping to be able to write my own Perl scripts to quickly extract large amounts of relevant genomic data!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Ani and Durga
Durga is 8 weeks old today. She smiles, follows me with her incredibly beautiful eyes, and lets out indignant hollers if she's not carried around while awake.
Ani is 3 years old and is in preschool. He says, "Only babies go to daycare, mummy! Big boys like me go to preschool", conveniently forgetting that less than 10 days ago, he was still in daycare himself.
Ani is fascinated by Durga- for now. He gets highly tickled if she pees or poops, he says "Bless you!" when she sneezes, he thinks her flailing limbs are toys to be tinkered with, and he likes to put his nose into her mouth when she opens and closes it while hungry. He also sings to her when she cries, wipes her nose free of snot that arises from the various nasal infections that he bestows upon her, but gets upset with anyone holding her when he is hungry or sleepy.
Durga, in her turn, seems to know when Ani is happy; she is quiet then. And when she hears him bawling, she starts crying too.
Life with two kids. It is hard. But it is also getting to be quite a lot of fun.
Ani is 3 years old and is in preschool. He says, "Only babies go to daycare, mummy! Big boys like me go to preschool", conveniently forgetting that less than 10 days ago, he was still in daycare himself.
Ani is fascinated by Durga- for now. He gets highly tickled if she pees or poops, he says "Bless you!" when she sneezes, he thinks her flailing limbs are toys to be tinkered with, and he likes to put his nose into her mouth when she opens and closes it while hungry. He also sings to her when she cries, wipes her nose free of snot that arises from the various nasal infections that he bestows upon her, but gets upset with anyone holding her when he is hungry or sleepy.
Durga, in her turn, seems to know when Ani is happy; she is quiet then. And when she hears him bawling, she starts crying too.
Life with two kids. It is hard. But it is also getting to be quite a lot of fun.
Friday, March 29, 2013
At Long Last....A Couple of Great Books
Have been using much of maternity leave devouring the online books available at CLP. For the past few months, I haven't been able to read anything too upsetting- my mind goes into overdrive and I get visions of those horrible things that I've just read about happening to my kids and I spend the next week broody and depressed.
This happened after reading the first half of J.K.Rowling's "A Casual Vacancy". That book upset me no end. Sure, the writing is beautiful and there are some sentences that are masterful in their understated irony. But the story itself? Drugged mothers, abusive fathers, rape, looting, despair,drugs. I hated the story. I kept wondering if Ani and Durga would end up like some of the kids in the book, if we would ever have a cordial relationship and how in the world I was to become a good parent.
Anyway, that's why I stopped reading the book halfway. Couldn't take the sheer nastiness anymore.
The safest feel-good books are romances, but God, spare me those implausible plots and the saccharine dialogues. I still read romances, of course, but it's getting harder to find truly good books. My safe options- Eloisa James, Lisa Kleypas and Loretta Chase- are not bringing out books fast enough for me.
Since time is on my side, I have been scouring the pages of CLP's "eBooks Available Now" looking for something decent. What do I mean by "something decent"? The book should have good writing and a plot that engrosses me. It shouldn't be vulgar. And it should have something in it, some deeper meaning or nuance that I can ponder on long after I read the book. The gold standard here is something like "Atonement"- a book that sweeps one away, a book that is filled with compassion, horror and humanity that it is instantly recognizable and yet quite unforgettable.
Here are my picks so far:
a) The Descendents by Kaui Hart Hemmings. Exquisite. Poignant. I am curious about how they made the movie, because so much of the story lies in what is not expressed.
b) More down to earth, but quite entertaining: A Duty to the Dead by Charles Todd. Mystery novels set in the time of WWI with the protagonist as a nurse serving with the Brits (who else? Why can't somebody write a novel with a German or French protagonist in the times of WWI or WWII? Oh wait, I suppose you could say that 'Allo 'Allo is a work with French protagonists... though it was actually created by the British. As for the Germans, I can think of one.... a novel by Chris Bohjalian... though not in this genre)
*****Update****
On much more reflection, I don't think The Descendents is worthy of my gushing praise above. It's too black-and-white.
Charles Todd's Bess Crawford books are far nicer to read than the Ian Rutledge series. But where's the romance? There needs to be at least a hint of it, for me to continue the series!
This happened after reading the first half of J.K.Rowling's "A Casual Vacancy". That book upset me no end. Sure, the writing is beautiful and there are some sentences that are masterful in their understated irony. But the story itself? Drugged mothers, abusive fathers, rape, looting, despair,drugs. I hated the story. I kept wondering if Ani and Durga would end up like some of the kids in the book, if we would ever have a cordial relationship and how in the world I was to become a good parent.
Anyway, that's why I stopped reading the book halfway. Couldn't take the sheer nastiness anymore.
The safest feel-good books are romances, but God, spare me those implausible plots and the saccharine dialogues. I still read romances, of course, but it's getting harder to find truly good books. My safe options- Eloisa James, Lisa Kleypas and Loretta Chase- are not bringing out books fast enough for me.
Since time is on my side, I have been scouring the pages of CLP's "eBooks Available Now" looking for something decent. What do I mean by "something decent"? The book should have good writing and a plot that engrosses me. It shouldn't be vulgar. And it should have something in it, some deeper meaning or nuance that I can ponder on long after I read the book. The gold standard here is something like "Atonement"- a book that sweeps one away, a book that is filled with compassion, horror and humanity that it is instantly recognizable and yet quite unforgettable.
Here are my picks so far:
a) The Descendents by Kaui Hart Hemmings. Exquisite. Poignant. I am curious about how they made the movie, because so much of the story lies in what is not expressed.
b) More down to earth, but quite entertaining: A Duty to the Dead by Charles Todd. Mystery novels set in the time of WWI with the protagonist as a nurse serving with the Brits (who else? Why can't somebody write a novel with a German or French protagonist in the times of WWI or WWII? Oh wait, I suppose you could say that 'Allo 'Allo is a work with French protagonists... though it was actually created by the British. As for the Germans, I can think of one.... a novel by Chris Bohjalian... though not in this genre)
*****Update****
On much more reflection, I don't think The Descendents is worthy of my gushing praise above. It's too black-and-white.
Charles Todd's Bess Crawford books are far nicer to read than the Ian Rutledge series. But where's the romance? There needs to be at least a hint of it, for me to continue the series!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
The Name Game
What's in a name, after all?
Everything, I think. Or at the very least, a lot. A name can be, and is, more than just a label. A name embodies traits and meanings and can serve as a beacon to its holder.
And that's why choosing a name for one's child can be so fraught with stress. It needs to be perfect!
The process of choosing a name is just as important as the name itself. In my parents' and grandparents' generations, the process of choosing a baby's name was very different than it is in mine. In their generations, the name was likely to be chosen and bestowed, not by the parents, but by the family elder, or a priest or a scholar, in a process completely entwined with family politics and dynamics.
In my household (if not generation), Ram and I are democratic and exclusive in equal parts. We are adamant that the choice should be ours, while being receptive to the ideas of close family members. And we follow a democratic process between ourselves: we discuss possible sources of names and shortlist some, go through the sources, pick a list of names and discuss those. This process has worked really well so far.
However, I'm finding that choosing a name for a daughter is harder than choosing a name for a son.
When I was pregnant with Ani, Ram and I had a sure-shot method of finding a name. We got hold of a copy of the Vishnu Sahasranamam (a convenient repository of 1000 names of Vishnu), parked ourselves down on the floor and chanted out the text. And sure enough, within a few pages, we found the name that we both liked, which not only sounded good, but was rich in the meaning that we wanted our son's name to have: Aniruddha means unstoppable, someone who recognizes no barriers. This, we felt, was a good trait for a son to have. It would inspire him to great heights and help him overcome difficulties on his way. Plus, it was also the name of a grandson of Krishna, a God who is much loved by both Ram and me.
Now, there are tons of girls' names that sound incredibly pretty. The names that leap to my mind are variations of 'happy' (Shambhavi, for example) or 'playful' (Lalitha, a favorite of mine), or 'beautiful' (too many to list).
But what do I want my daughter to be? Sure, she should be happy and playful and no doubt, she will be beautiful. But I want her to be so much more! I would like my daughter to be strong, resilient, fierce, truthful, and optimistic. I also want her to be ethical, just, and loyal. So she needs a name that reminds her of all this. She needs a name that will lift her out of darkness and show her the light.
So the hunt for the perfect name is still on.
Everything, I think. Or at the very least, a lot. A name can be, and is, more than just a label. A name embodies traits and meanings and can serve as a beacon to its holder.
And that's why choosing a name for one's child can be so fraught with stress. It needs to be perfect!
The process of choosing a name is just as important as the name itself. In my parents' and grandparents' generations, the process of choosing a baby's name was very different than it is in mine. In their generations, the name was likely to be chosen and bestowed, not by the parents, but by the family elder, or a priest or a scholar, in a process completely entwined with family politics and dynamics.
In my household (if not generation), Ram and I are democratic and exclusive in equal parts. We are adamant that the choice should be ours, while being receptive to the ideas of close family members. And we follow a democratic process between ourselves: we discuss possible sources of names and shortlist some, go through the sources, pick a list of names and discuss those. This process has worked really well so far.
However, I'm finding that choosing a name for a daughter is harder than choosing a name for a son.
When I was pregnant with Ani, Ram and I had a sure-shot method of finding a name. We got hold of a copy of the Vishnu Sahasranamam (a convenient repository of 1000 names of Vishnu), parked ourselves down on the floor and chanted out the text. And sure enough, within a few pages, we found the name that we both liked, which not only sounded good, but was rich in the meaning that we wanted our son's name to have: Aniruddha means unstoppable, someone who recognizes no barriers. This, we felt, was a good trait for a son to have. It would inspire him to great heights and help him overcome difficulties on his way. Plus, it was also the name of a grandson of Krishna, a God who is much loved by both Ram and me.
Now, there are tons of girls' names that sound incredibly pretty. The names that leap to my mind are variations of 'happy' (Shambhavi, for example) or 'playful' (Lalitha, a favorite of mine), or 'beautiful' (too many to list).
But what do I want my daughter to be? Sure, she should be happy and playful and no doubt, she will be beautiful. But I want her to be so much more! I would like my daughter to be strong, resilient, fierce, truthful, and optimistic. I also want her to be ethical, just, and loyal. So she needs a name that reminds her of all this. She needs a name that will lift her out of darkness and show her the light.
So the hunt for the perfect name is still on.
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