When my son Ani was born, I exclaimed to my mom, "You know, if I had been born 50 years ago, I would have probably died in labor. I would have been one of those statistics. Thank God, I was born when I was"
You know why? Because I was told that going too many days past your due date (I had gone 10) was risky, that I ought to get pitocin, then I was suggested an epidural and then I had a C-section because my labor stalled and the fetal heart rate dropped.
Now, I am realizing that none of those need to have happened. That there were alternatives to pitocin and to epidurals and that I could have gotten the natural childbirth that I wanted.
I'm watching "The Business of Being Born" and groaning with all this knowledge that has come too late for me. Hopefully I can share this with other new moms and help them make choices that are right for them.
I have to keep reminding myself:
a) It's okay that I missed out on this experience (twice). I have to make up for it by being the best mom I can to my kids (even if I yell at them once in a while).
b) It's okay that even an educated woman like me who's online 90% of her day reading and critiquing things didn't know about these alternatives. It doesn't make me kinda stupid. It just makes me part of the extremely large number of other women who trust their doctors and health care system without questioning it at all.
Suddenly, I realize that the biggest lesson I need to take from this whole thing is that I shouldn't stop questioning anybody, especially doctors. Even when my own husband is one and even if he suggests that I trust my doctor.
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Update: Aaarrrgghhh.... the more I watch this video, the more idiotic I feel.
I need to stop obsessing about all the ways I could have changed the course of my labors. Because seriously, at the end of the day, I have two kids who are healthy and happy and it's my job to keep them that way.
And what has happened has happened. And whatever happens, happens for the best.
So move ON, already, Varsh. Snap out.
3 comments:
Seriously! what r u cribbing about???
Now go do some serious watching and help me when my time finally comes :)
Thanks. That was the slap in the face I needed :)
By the way, still not sure if you are pregnant already or not. In either case, check this out: http://www.mumbaimidwife.com/
Also, even if you're not particularly enamored by the midwife model of care, attend those childbirth classes. They are very useful (usually, anyway)!
heehee
Nope, not pregnant yet. Is my identity a secret?? Thought you recognized me!
Need to look for childbirth classes that couples can go to in India when I need them.
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