What does mindful even mean? To me, it means being aware of what you are doing or saying and how you are doing or saying it, and why you are doing or saying it. You recall Polonius' words to his son?
"...give thy thoughts no tongue
Nor any unproportioned thought, his act"
..
"Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement"
(Hamlet)
This captures the essence of mindfulness, I think.
Needless to say, I've found it incredibly difficult to be mindful...
There are obviously good days and bad. I realize that I recall the bad days, but I don't really celebrate the good ones.
But I also realize that I have no role model. The great saints or sages whose images instantly come to mind when one thinks about mindfulness are not working women with jobs and kids and other obligations. In fact, each of those great mindful souls rejected women, family life and well, work.
I don't claim to understand a fraction of the enlightenment that Buddha attained, but come on, he obviously had to leave behind everything and everyone he knew to attain it.
However, a recent story about the Buddha reassured me like nothing else: Buddha and his faithful devotee Ananda were walking along the side of a river. Buddha is deep in conversation with Ananda. A fly sits on his arm and he swats it. A moment later, Ananda notices Buddha repeating that same movement (of swatting the fly) again, although there is no fly. He asks Him, "Why do you do that?"
Buddha replies, "When I first swatted it, I did it unthinkingly. The second time I moved my hand, I did it to remind myself to do so mindfully"
So. I guess even the great saints and wise men who relinquish society and all its claims on them need to practice!
This story put me in a very optimistic frame of mind and honestly, I could start looking at Buddha as a decent role model for mindfulness.
However, for a more immediate, day-to-day role model, I signed up for the Art of Living's 3 day course on Sudarshan Kriya. I have been quite dismissive of AoL before. But I feel the need for frequent reminders to be mindful. Hence the signing up.
However, a recent story about the Buddha reassured me like nothing else: Buddha and his faithful devotee Ananda were walking along the side of a river. Buddha is deep in conversation with Ananda. A fly sits on his arm and he swats it. A moment later, Ananda notices Buddha repeating that same movement (of swatting the fly) again, although there is no fly. He asks Him, "Why do you do that?"
Buddha replies, "When I first swatted it, I did it unthinkingly. The second time I moved my hand, I did it to remind myself to do so mindfully"
So. I guess even the great saints and wise men who relinquish society and all its claims on them need to practice!
This story put me in a very optimistic frame of mind and honestly, I could start looking at Buddha as a decent role model for mindfulness.
However, for a more immediate, day-to-day role model, I signed up for the Art of Living's 3 day course on Sudarshan Kriya. I have been quite dismissive of AoL before. But I feel the need for frequent reminders to be mindful. Hence the signing up.
My objective is just one- let me learn how to be mindful.
By this I specifically mean:
a) Let me not lose my temper with my kids and family;
b) Let me not promise things without understanding the full implications of it;
c) Let me recognize situations that can turn explosive and prevent them.
I am hoping to find role models- other working women and men who have similar stresses and obligations that I do and who still manage to juggle them really well, without getting stressed, without losing their control or their cool.
And writing this has also made me realize that I should celebrate my little successes. Maybe I need to keep a journal, though knowing me, I'll probably lose the journal within a couple of days; so maybe I need to type up stuff on my phone to keep tally on all the occasions I could have lost my temper, but did not.
No comments:
Post a Comment