Ok, I know, there's nothing more annoying than someone who complains about how difficult their life is. So I promise never to do so again.
But God, I need to vent and don't have any other avenues.
Being a working mom is hard and lonely.
How is one person supposed to get great work done while at the same time ensuring that kids are optimally growing, household is optimally running, long-term life planning is happening at the right times, and that familial bonds are kept strong and kids are getting the kind of training in extracurricular activities that will hopefully make them into well-rounded adults at some point of time?
It's exhausting.
And it's no use saying that these things are a partnership. Sure, some things are, but which man ever takes a day-to-day interest in his kids? Which dad ever gets told, your kids are looking thin/ fat/ short/dark? Which dad ever gets called for parent-teacher meetings when the kid hasn't submitted homework/ project/ craft/ other bloody shit on time? Which man is ever expected to attend engagements/ death ceremony meals/ wedding lunches/ pre-wedding lunchs/ mehendis/ sangeet/ post-wedding lunches and help out with the cleaning afterwards? Which married man ever says, oh crap, we are running out of oil/soap/toothpaste/ whatever else and proactively goes and buys them instead of telling his wife to handle it?
And in the meantime, one is supposed to have the right attitude to everything- to learning, to growing, to managing, to leading. One cannot just say, oh for fuck's sake, screw this shit or let's get on with it and get this shit done.
No, one is supposed to have a humble, happy and accepting attitude and grow from things one doesn't know or do well or... well, something.
When things get really really difficult (and honestly, I know dozens of other people who have it way, way harder than I do, but I'm a human who likes to whine, so shoot me), I think of a rubber band- the more you stretch it, the more it accommodates.
I am already doing a lot more today than I was doing some months ago and way more than I was doing some years ago.
No doubt, some months from now, I'll look back on this time and know that I have it easy now.
If there was one thing I could change about myself, it would be to increase my patience and my positive interactions with the kids. So many times, they ask me to come play with them. And I snap back and yell. Soon they will stop asking me and I would have missed something precious.
Again though, would I really? Is my assumption that I'll miss something precious based on nothing other Cat's in the Cradle kind of thinking? Would the kids even know or care or appreciate that I would have worked hard to make time for them?
Ok, my rant is done. Let's get back to "count your blessings, not your problems" mentality. *Sigh*
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