"Normal" is entirely subjective. It is person-dependent, society-dependent, culture-dependent and time-dependent.
What seems normal to us today (where to start.... homosexual relationships, divorces, premarital sex, women working, women in government! ... ) would have been extremely shocking at various points of time in history, and if all our texts are right, then in fact not so shocking if one were to go even further back in history.
We get so bogged down by what is normal, we get so scared about not appearing normal, and are so afraid of others telling us so, that we forget that the definition of normal is temporary.
RK has been spending the last 2 months in Udaipur and will be spending another 2-3 months there. He gets asked this question a lot: but why are you doing this? Isn't this abnormal? What about your wife and kids? Wouldn't this have an adverse effect on the children's emotional state?
To me, this actually feels a bit normal- growing up, my mom and I used to be one of the rare families that would accompany my dad to every city he ever got transferred to. Most other bank officials would leave their families in their home towns and basically spend years in various other cities, occasionally meeting up with wife and kids and parents. We were the abnormal ones at that time and I recall my parents constantly fielding questions about why they were ok with my changing schools every so often, and wouldn't this have an adverse impact on my emotional state and so on.
I think the things that feel right and give joy are the right choices to pursue. Obviously this will change from person to person, from family to family and from time to time. Then Everything is normal.
1 comment:
I agree with this concept of Everything is normal in theory, as long as everyone affected is okay with it. Speaking from experience, my father did a Pune- Mumbai commute for 12 years and we got to see him only on the weekends after he had worked 2-3 shifts in a row to be with us. And, when it came time for him to retire, my brother decided to be with him in Mumbai for graduation. My family always felt incomplete to me so I'm not a huge fan of living separately for long periods of time. But like I said, to each their own, and as long as you have open conversations with your kids and each other and really listen in, it is your normal. Besides, there are a lot of ways to stay connected now so we're not that isolated anymore if we make a genuine effort.
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