4 weeks to go (plus or minus 10 days) for the big day! Too many things going on in my head to pen down, but I shall attempt it so that when the kiddo's 20 years old, I shall reveal this blog to him and say, this was me and this was about you.
When the kid's 20 years old, I shall be 48, and Ram 49. Yikes!
The big thing in my head is my thesis committee meeting coming up on the 16th of March. My lab mates are SICK of me going on and on about this meeting. But I can't help it. I feel mentally so unprepared for this meeting and also, slightly worried about what my committee will comment about the baby.... regardless of what anybody says outside, I wonder if they will think that I have timed this baby all wrong, that I ought to have waited till I had the degree in hand before starting this new venture. Then again, how is it anybody else's business but mine and Ram's? I shall tell myself this every time I start feeling self- conscious.
Next big thing: my visa expires! I20 expires at around the same time that the kid will make his appearance, which means that I will be illegal to hang around in this country after that. And F1 expires in June. Have merely scratched the surface in attempts to renew I20, but I need to do this quickly. Arrrggghhhh I hate these bureaucratic procedures.
Third on the list: Taxes! My tax form comes to me only by the 3rd week of March, which gives 3 weeks to complete the forms and send them out by April 16th. Big disadvantage of being an international student on a fellowship. Usually I rather like preparing the joint taxes for Ram and me... it makes me feel like I'm unraveling one of the great mysteries of the universe. This year, it just makes me feel stressed out. And it's not just one set of income taxes to file. There's state and local too. I heartily dislike local taxes... especially because I filed them incorrectly one year and didn't receive the 200-odd dollars that I was supposed to. Regardless, in case the whole microbiology research thing doesn't work out, I might think about accountancy... I'd be pretty good at it.
Other things on list:
Baby crib- check. My friend Advay will assemble it for me.
Baby clothes- we have plenty of cloth and my mom and I shall make some things once she returns from N.Jersey.
Infant car seat- uncle will send it. In case it doesn't reach here on time, I have an infant to toddler converter car seat.
Infant car seat inspection- Will have to see.
Packing of my suitcase- I am reminded of one of those women in TV and books who always go into labor while shopping or traveling in a car or something, but have their suitcase stashed away at arms length. I, unfortunately, am not so well prepared.
Have a list of things to keep, but really don't feel like packing anything yet. That could be because of the kinds of things the list says I ought to keep- a focal point to stare at while laboring (I am thinking of keeping Obama's picture saying "Yes We Can!", but even I realize how ridiculous that may seem), CDs to relax me (I hate listening to music when stressed.... maybe I ought to pack a few books instead... or perhaps audio books?), cameras (but why? Newborn babies look kind of ugly, don't they? I would much rather wait a couple of months, while the kid puts on some weight and looks chubby and cute, than take a picture of it all bruised, blotchy and cone-headed), cell phone numbers to call (hey, I am NOT calling ANYone. I hate having to speak on a cell phone on a normal basis. The last thing I'm going to do is keep a list of people to inform. Ram can take care of this.... or perhaps he can send out an email).
So see, this list doesn't give me a quick guide to stuff a few things in a bag and be done with it. It stresses me out. What the heck should my focal point be? What music ought I play to bring the kid into the world? I did NOT think that these were the essentials of child birth preparation.
Way down the list: lab work. Should I start a bunch of new experiments so that I will be forced to come to lab after the baby is born, just to keep me in the spirit of doing work? Should I set up my electron micrograph samples since they take 3 weeks to get ready anyway? Same thing with the microarray- if I set it up before I leave, then the genomics lab will do the experiment when I am absent from work and send me the results to analyze, which I could do from home and save time after I return to work. Decisions decisions...
Anyway, now that I've typed up all this, I can feel happier and less burdened and forget (more or less) all about the issues I have thought about.
Awfully self obsessed post, no? But then, which one is not?
2 comments:
Urghh.. I just typed out a long comment and my internet connection fucked up. It's gone. damnit!
Anyway, I think this is what it said:
All your fears seem to stem from your pregnancy. It's a bit too late to worry about consequences,no? You've done so well all these months. Try to just relax, do things at your own pace and just the way you do them usually. Hang in there until the big day. Good luck with your committee meeting. I just finished my first department student seminar after I joined the new lab. It went well. My old boss came to the talk and asked a bunch of questions. He apparently was impressed with my work (like I care for his opinion). Anyway, getting back to you.
I can't listen to music when I'm stressed either. I can, however, watch movies. Maybe you should carry a DVD player (nothing with batteries, they are a pain) or an Ipod Touch and watch movies to divert your attention. Forget about the baby music and all, that stuff is just over rated. And emm, please take picture of New born. Also, don't worry about informing people. Upside of being the mommy. ;) Leave PR work to other people. I'm sure Ram and your mom can take care of it. Tell him not to forget me, btw. :P
I so very excited for you! *hugs*
About informing people... Mostly people will call and the news travels fast... Can't really rely on Ram calling, can we now... But am so excited for you and am already making plans of visiting once the baby is born and before I can go home...
As for the visa issues... As a very experienced person in this issue, all I can say is even if you do everything on time, it takes its own sweet time, so don't worry and stress urself about it
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