Neither here nor there

3 months ago, I would have thought that a 3 month-long holiday in India was the best thing to wish for. Well, after 3 enforced months in India, I can say with great firmness that it isn't all that's cracked up to be. Hear me well, you expat desis.
Short story as to why I'm still here in the desh: visa issues. Specifically, that beast called "administrative processing". Never mind what that is if you don't know it. It's a thing most boring and completely insane.
So yaay, here we are, the kids and I, in the lap of the motherland, experiencing life as it truly is in India, and not through a 2- or 3- week frenetic holiday window. It's been good and bad. It's the first time I have spent Diwali or Dussera at home in 10 years. It's the first time the kids have got to experience fireworks. It's nice to see the kids become close friends with their cousins. But, these moments are like raisins in a piece of raisin bread, some moments of sweetness in an otherwise boring and flat landscape.
The biggest hurdle: the man's back in the US. Let me tell you, those of you patient chaps still with me, one of the biggest and most unexpected results of sudden quasi-single parenthood: obnoxious kids. Kids who are normally fairly well-behaved start acting out like crazy. I put this down to the fact that they miss the other parent quite desperately, they are floundering even though there're plenty of relatives around, and they miss the stability the other parent brings. For my 4 year old son, if mom's in a bitchy mood, there's always dad to turn to. Now, even though he has Ajji, Thatha or Avva to turn to, it just isn't the same. So there are tantrums, general whininess, utter unreasonableness.... you get the picture. What in the world do divorced parents do, I wonder? It must be terribly difficult. At least I have the consolation that my husband will come and visit next week and I can hand over one of the kids to him.

Another great realization, or rather, a confirmation of what I've known for a while: home may be where the heart is, but home is also definitely where the work is. Mooching around here, I realize there's nothing particularly important that I need to do, there's nowhere that I particularly need to be and it's a depressing thought. But yet, it isn't just work for work's sake that I miss. It's my work, my research and my questions. I miss pottering around at my work bench, I miss pipetting things and I miss discussing stuff with my lab chaps.  At my parents' place, I do no work. At my in-law's place, I don't get time to breathe, let alone sit. Neither state is particularly joy-inducing.