Man-Woman Relationships

As I mentioned to my friend Swati over a long leisurely lunch at the hospital cafeteria, it was rather nice when Ram had left for Seattle. There was so much more time on my hands. Kids and I would get home, eat a simple dinner, hang out a bit and sleep by 9. Or they would sleep and I would read or watch TV. When the man's around, I would have to make tea, good food and conversation. Or at least lend a listening ear when he would expound on whatever subject he was currently interested in.

This reminded me of a conversation I'd had with a lab friend of mine ages ago, before I was married. Jen told me about this ideal model that she carried around in her head.

Let me bullet-point it so nobody gets confused:
1. She, her best gal friends and their kids would all live together in the big red house in the middle.
2. Their husbands would live in the little brown houses on the periphery.
3. The women would cook and eat and talk and laugh and work together.
4. The men would come to the house to play with the kids, but for all practical purposes live by themselves.
5. Every couple of nights, the husband could come to the room of his wife (the women would have separate rooms, just in case you were wondering), but there would be showers along the way (hence the blue lines), so that he would enter his wife's room fresh and clean. And after their little interlude, he would walk back home.

Funny, no?
I think of this picture often. Especially when I am picking up the wet towels, clothes and socks that Ram would have discarded all over the place.

But once in a while, Ram will surprise me very pleasantly by standing in the kitchen and chatting while I cook and clean. And we will discuss what to make for dinner and share a cup of tea that he makes. This is very nice and of course, this is because he takes the role of my gal friends.

I hear American men do this much more often than Indian men. I better make sure Ram doesn't forget this bit of American-ness back in India.