It's been 1 month and 1 week since my parents left for India. And I think I can at last say, at the risk of drawing the attention of some mischeivous imp of Fate, that I am beginning to better juggle the different roles I play.
Evidence: I am actually on time (in fact, well before time) for the 9am lab meeting. This is the first time I have managed that in many, many weeks. And I did this and managed to pack lunch for Ani, get a decent breakfast into him, give him a bath, get myself ready and didn't forget to pay his daycare expenses. Hurray!
Now, to repeat this ad infinitum.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Inspiration at last!
I had been feeling, for close to a year now, the lack of any reading material that could inspire, advise and entertain me. I had written in this blog some time ago about how the only books I seemed to have consumed gluttonously in my time in Pittsburgh were useless, forgetable and senseless romances. Yet, the books I had on hand which were not romances were hardly the inspirational, philosophically deep books that I felt the need for.
I am happy to report, at last, that I have found a book that suits my purposes completely: The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin.
This is a book that is wise, humorous, tolerant and lays out a beautiful framework for living life without being pedagogical or preachy. There is such energy in the writing, it draws you in as soon as you read the first few words. This is a book that can be savored all life long, with deeper shades of meaning becoming apparent with growing experience.
Through Franklin's eyes, I can see America as it once was, a colony of England, and then as a new country. There is a quaintness in the idea of a journey from Boston to New York taking 3 days by boat, or with Philadelphia and Boston being considered two separate countries (Boston still, even in those days, being more expensive than Philadelphia), of having to row a boat from New York to Philadelphia because there was no wind for the sails. But what is also apparent is the drive, the hope and the determination of the people of the day to take things into their hands and make their lives better. Franklin's depiction of America reminds one of all that America stands for in the minds of people all over the world- a place where one can wrest control of one's fate and succeed. This is not the America of greed or obesity or parochialistic bickering that we see on TV. This is the very philosophy, the foundation of the IDEA of America- not the country, but the way of life.
It's funny how true Confucious's saying "When the student is ready, the teacher appears" is. Were I to have come across this book even 2 months ago when I was still finishing up my thesis, I would have raced through it and not really spent the time pondering it. Postdoctoral fellowship, while being more demanding, is also giving me the time and the space to think about life and how it ought to be lived.
I am happy to report, at last, that I have found a book that suits my purposes completely: The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin.
This is a book that is wise, humorous, tolerant and lays out a beautiful framework for living life without being pedagogical or preachy. There is such energy in the writing, it draws you in as soon as you read the first few words. This is a book that can be savored all life long, with deeper shades of meaning becoming apparent with growing experience.
Through Franklin's eyes, I can see America as it once was, a colony of England, and then as a new country. There is a quaintness in the idea of a journey from Boston to New York taking 3 days by boat, or with Philadelphia and Boston being considered two separate countries (Boston still, even in those days, being more expensive than Philadelphia), of having to row a boat from New York to Philadelphia because there was no wind for the sails. But what is also apparent is the drive, the hope and the determination of the people of the day to take things into their hands and make their lives better. Franklin's depiction of America reminds one of all that America stands for in the minds of people all over the world- a place where one can wrest control of one's fate and succeed. This is not the America of greed or obesity or parochialistic bickering that we see on TV. This is the very philosophy, the foundation of the IDEA of America- not the country, but the way of life.
It's funny how true Confucious's saying "When the student is ready, the teacher appears" is. Were I to have come across this book even 2 months ago when I was still finishing up my thesis, I would have raced through it and not really spent the time pondering it. Postdoctoral fellowship, while being more demanding, is also giving me the time and the space to think about life and how it ought to be lived.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Perspective
After one month in my new postdoctoral place of work, I went back to my old lab today to backup some data.
3pm on a Friday afternoon. Not too many people around. Firstly, PG himself was off on vacation, then Deena, our supervisor had her usual annual bout of pneumonia. Lori, my ex-lab roommate and good friend, was also off on vacation (why in the world are so many people taking vacation in the beginning of November?). Importantly, Anwesha, the new graduate student, was off at classes. Which meant I had full freedom to sit at her desk and pull out my data from the deep depths of her computer. I suppose I no longer felt any sense of possession of that computer and desk, which had been mine for 5 years. But as soon as I entered the room, the sheer neatness of it made me lose any sense of nostalgia or ownership of that room or desk or computer- it looked nothing like the way it used to.
Copying my files, I came across many presentations which I hadn't opened or seen in years. Here are some titles of some of my presentations at lab meeting: "The Science of Language: A Primer", "Food, Sex and Fruit flies", "Jeopardy!", "Anxiety in Pregnant Rats" and so on. PG would gently remind me, at the end of these talks, that perhaps I should concentrate on something related to my thesis project, or at least that was pertinent to the vast field of Microbiology, if not infectious diseases. But he never stopped me from giving these HOUR-long presentations on completely irrelevant topics, nor did he make me feel like I was wasting his time or the lab's. These presentations reminded me forcefully about what a truly great place I trained at. I couldn't have asked for a better mentor to do my PhD with.
What a wise mentor PG is!
Nonetheless, I am SO happy I am no longer working on the project that I was! No project dealing with disease pathogenesis is easy, but seriously, noncytolytic CD8 antiviral mechanisms are, to me, the most frustrating. And after 5 years of working on that stuff, I still don't have enough data to publish a complete story. It's enough to make a sane person completely sick with rage and impotence. *Deep breath* it's okay. It's okay. It's all over now.... more or less.
3pm on a Friday afternoon. Not too many people around. Firstly, PG himself was off on vacation, then Deena, our supervisor had her usual annual bout of pneumonia. Lori, my ex-lab roommate and good friend, was also off on vacation (why in the world are so many people taking vacation in the beginning of November?). Importantly, Anwesha, the new graduate student, was off at classes. Which meant I had full freedom to sit at her desk and pull out my data from the deep depths of her computer. I suppose I no longer felt any sense of possession of that computer and desk, which had been mine for 5 years. But as soon as I entered the room, the sheer neatness of it made me lose any sense of nostalgia or ownership of that room or desk or computer- it looked nothing like the way it used to.
Copying my files, I came across many presentations which I hadn't opened or seen in years. Here are some titles of some of my presentations at lab meeting: "The Science of Language: A Primer", "Food, Sex and Fruit flies", "Jeopardy!", "Anxiety in Pregnant Rats" and so on. PG would gently remind me, at the end of these talks, that perhaps I should concentrate on something related to my thesis project, or at least that was pertinent to the vast field of Microbiology, if not infectious diseases. But he never stopped me from giving these HOUR-long presentations on completely irrelevant topics, nor did he make me feel like I was wasting his time or the lab's. These presentations reminded me forcefully about what a truly great place I trained at. I couldn't have asked for a better mentor to do my PhD with.
What a wise mentor PG is!
Nonetheless, I am SO happy I am no longer working on the project that I was! No project dealing with disease pathogenesis is easy, but seriously, noncytolytic CD8 antiviral mechanisms are, to me, the most frustrating. And after 5 years of working on that stuff, I still don't have enough data to publish a complete story. It's enough to make a sane person completely sick with rage and impotence. *Deep breath* it's okay. It's okay. It's all over now.... more or less.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Thesis
Guess how many chapters my thesis consists of?
NINE!!
I'm a lean, mean writing machine!
Either that, or I'm still favoring quantity over quality...
Oh God, let me be a QUALITY lean mean writing machine!
*snort*
Lame-o
NINE!!
I'm a lean, mean writing machine!
Either that, or I'm still favoring quantity over quality...
Oh God, let me be a QUALITY lean mean writing machine!
*snort*
Lame-o
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Books
I need to read something a little more intelligent than romance novels.
I read better books in India, when they were hard to come by, than I have in the US. The reason is simple: I would have to buy books in India, whereas I don't in the US. The number of books that are sheer muck (think Charlaine Harris or Stephanie Laurens) that I have unashamedly gobbled up here makes me cringe a bit.
In my 6 years here, what are the truly memorable books that I have read?
a) Atonement by Ian McEwan
b) At the Villa of Reduced Circumstances by Alexander McCall Smith
c) Brother Cadfael's Penance by Ellis Peters
d) The Necklace by Guy de Maupassant
e) The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
f) A Guide to the Birds of East Africa by Nicholas Drayson
Gosh. And that's it. I can't think of anything else that I have read completely and can actually say that it made an impact on me. How lowering that I should have checked out so many books from the library in the past 6 years and barely a fraction of a percentage actually registerd. I need to get back to treasuring quality over quantity.
I read better books in India, when they were hard to come by, than I have in the US. The reason is simple: I would have to buy books in India, whereas I don't in the US. The number of books that are sheer muck (think Charlaine Harris or Stephanie Laurens) that I have unashamedly gobbled up here makes me cringe a bit.
In my 6 years here, what are the truly memorable books that I have read?
a) Atonement by Ian McEwan
b) At the Villa of Reduced Circumstances by Alexander McCall Smith
c) Brother Cadfael's Penance by Ellis Peters
d) The Necklace by Guy de Maupassant
e) The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
f) A Guide to the Birds of East Africa by Nicholas Drayson
Gosh. And that's it. I can't think of anything else that I have read completely and can actually say that it made an impact on me. How lowering that I should have checked out so many books from the library in the past 6 years and barely a fraction of a percentage actually registerd. I need to get back to treasuring quality over quantity.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Overkill?
Came to the decision some weeks ago that I would not pursue a research-intensive post doc, and would instead focus on a teaching-based one.
Love the decision, feel good about it, and the birds are singing, the sky is blue, etc etc.
Now, I fear that I might have been a bit too aggressive towards getting my dream job. *Cringe*
D.J. is the post of lecturer at University of Pittsburgh. Awesome, right? I WANT this job. I would be good for them, and they would be good for me. Everyone wins.
But what if, in my confident (over-confident?) enthusiasm, I have put them off? Let me tell you what I did: put in my application, got my 3 referees to write their letters on time, then got my adviser to mail them (about 2 weeks after he sent the recommendation letter, reiterating the main points), VISITED them and told them about myself and that this was my top choice, AND when my labmate said that she would write a recommendation letter for me, egged her on to do it.
Might this be a case of over-exposure? *wince*
I might have killed my chances, or raised unnecessary expectations, or even resentment.
Oh nooooo :(
It's been 52 days since the deadline and I haven't heard back from them... or, come to think of it, from anybody else whom I applied to. I wish there could be a tracking system where I could see my status among all the candidates and modify my behavior as and when necessary.
Love the decision, feel good about it, and the birds are singing, the sky is blue, etc etc.
Now, I fear that I might have been a bit too aggressive towards getting my dream job. *Cringe*
D.J. is the post of lecturer at University of Pittsburgh. Awesome, right? I WANT this job. I would be good for them, and they would be good for me. Everyone wins.
But what if, in my confident (over-confident?) enthusiasm, I have put them off? Let me tell you what I did: put in my application, got my 3 referees to write their letters on time, then got my adviser to mail them (about 2 weeks after he sent the recommendation letter, reiterating the main points), VISITED them and told them about myself and that this was my top choice, AND when my labmate said that she would write a recommendation letter for me, egged her on to do it.
Might this be a case of over-exposure? *wince*
I might have killed my chances, or raised unnecessary expectations, or even resentment.
Oh nooooo :(
It's been 52 days since the deadline and I haven't heard back from them... or, come to think of it, from anybody else whom I applied to. I wish there could be a tracking system where I could see my status among all the candidates and modify my behavior as and when necessary.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Lessons, lessons and more lessons
Feels like I've just been learning stuff from a variety of people these past few weeks. I hope somebody in the world feels like they are learning things from me... might balance out things a bit and make me feel better.
Biggest lesson learned: from my son. It humbles me to say this, but my 1 year old son has a better attitude towards life, and especially towards ill health, than I do. No matter how shitty he feels (and he's had a pretty bad bout of some flu like illness), he always smiles and plays and is happy, as long as he is surrounded by family. No matter how hungry or tired he may be, he is ever willing to go exploring or try out something new.
Other lesson learned: from the man. Gosh, actually, strike that. There have been so many things that he wants me to improve upon that I don't even know where to start. I really need to think before I speak- that's the next biggest lesson learned.
Then from my mom: about how to engage little boys in play. My tendency is to give the kid a toy and expect him to learn how to play with it. I forget that unless I show him how to, and keep repeating this, he will never show any interest in it.
Enough things to ponder about for now.
Biggest lesson learned: from my son. It humbles me to say this, but my 1 year old son has a better attitude towards life, and especially towards ill health, than I do. No matter how shitty he feels (and he's had a pretty bad bout of some flu like illness), he always smiles and plays and is happy, as long as he is surrounded by family. No matter how hungry or tired he may be, he is ever willing to go exploring or try out something new.
Other lesson learned: from the man. Gosh, actually, strike that. There have been so many things that he wants me to improve upon that I don't even know where to start. I really need to think before I speak- that's the next biggest lesson learned.
Then from my mom: about how to engage little boys in play. My tendency is to give the kid a toy and expect him to learn how to play with it. I forget that unless I show him how to, and keep repeating this, he will never show any interest in it.
Enough things to ponder about for now.
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