After one month in my new postdoctoral place of work, I went back to my old lab today to backup some data.
3pm on a Friday afternoon. Not too many people around. Firstly, PG himself was off on vacation, then Deena, our supervisor had her usual annual bout of pneumonia. Lori, my ex-lab roommate and good friend, was also off on vacation (why in the world are so many people taking vacation in the beginning of November?). Importantly, Anwesha, the new graduate student, was off at classes. Which meant I had full freedom to sit at her desk and pull out my data from the deep depths of her computer. I suppose I no longer felt any sense of possession of that computer and desk, which had been mine for 5 years. But as soon as I entered the room, the sheer neatness of it made me lose any sense of nostalgia or ownership of that room or desk or computer- it looked nothing like the way it used to.
Copying my files, I came across many presentations which I hadn't opened or seen in years. Here are some titles of some of my presentations at lab meeting: "The Science of Language: A Primer", "Food, Sex and Fruit flies", "Jeopardy!", "Anxiety in Pregnant Rats" and so on. PG would gently remind me, at the end of these talks, that perhaps I should concentrate on something related to my thesis project, or at least that was pertinent to the vast field of Microbiology, if not infectious diseases. But he never stopped me from giving these HOUR-long presentations on completely irrelevant topics, nor did he make me feel like I was wasting his time or the lab's. These presentations reminded me forcefully about what a truly great place I trained at. I couldn't have asked for a better mentor to do my PhD with.
What a wise mentor PG is!
Nonetheless, I am SO happy I am no longer working on the project that I was! No project dealing with disease pathogenesis is easy, but seriously, noncytolytic CD8 antiviral mechanisms are, to me, the most frustrating. And after 5 years of working on that stuff, I still don't have enough data to publish a complete story. It's enough to make a sane person completely sick with rage and impotence. *Deep breath* it's okay. It's okay. It's all over now.... more or less.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Thesis
Guess how many chapters my thesis consists of?
NINE!!
I'm a lean, mean writing machine!
Either that, or I'm still favoring quantity over quality...
Oh God, let me be a QUALITY lean mean writing machine!
*snort*
Lame-o
NINE!!
I'm a lean, mean writing machine!
Either that, or I'm still favoring quantity over quality...
Oh God, let me be a QUALITY lean mean writing machine!
*snort*
Lame-o
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Books
I need to read something a little more intelligent than romance novels.
I read better books in India, when they were hard to come by, than I have in the US. The reason is simple: I would have to buy books in India, whereas I don't in the US. The number of books that are sheer muck (think Charlaine Harris or Stephanie Laurens) that I have unashamedly gobbled up here makes me cringe a bit.
In my 6 years here, what are the truly memorable books that I have read?
a) Atonement by Ian McEwan
b) At the Villa of Reduced Circumstances by Alexander McCall Smith
c) Brother Cadfael's Penance by Ellis Peters
d) The Necklace by Guy de Maupassant
e) The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
f) A Guide to the Birds of East Africa by Nicholas Drayson
Gosh. And that's it. I can't think of anything else that I have read completely and can actually say that it made an impact on me. How lowering that I should have checked out so many books from the library in the past 6 years and barely a fraction of a percentage actually registerd. I need to get back to treasuring quality over quantity.
I read better books in India, when they were hard to come by, than I have in the US. The reason is simple: I would have to buy books in India, whereas I don't in the US. The number of books that are sheer muck (think Charlaine Harris or Stephanie Laurens) that I have unashamedly gobbled up here makes me cringe a bit.
In my 6 years here, what are the truly memorable books that I have read?
a) Atonement by Ian McEwan
b) At the Villa of Reduced Circumstances by Alexander McCall Smith
c) Brother Cadfael's Penance by Ellis Peters
d) The Necklace by Guy de Maupassant
e) The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
f) A Guide to the Birds of East Africa by Nicholas Drayson
Gosh. And that's it. I can't think of anything else that I have read completely and can actually say that it made an impact on me. How lowering that I should have checked out so many books from the library in the past 6 years and barely a fraction of a percentage actually registerd. I need to get back to treasuring quality over quantity.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Overkill?
Came to the decision some weeks ago that I would not pursue a research-intensive post doc, and would instead focus on a teaching-based one.
Love the decision, feel good about it, and the birds are singing, the sky is blue, etc etc.
Now, I fear that I might have been a bit too aggressive towards getting my dream job. *Cringe*
D.J. is the post of lecturer at University of Pittsburgh. Awesome, right? I WANT this job. I would be good for them, and they would be good for me. Everyone wins.
But what if, in my confident (over-confident?) enthusiasm, I have put them off? Let me tell you what I did: put in my application, got my 3 referees to write their letters on time, then got my adviser to mail them (about 2 weeks after he sent the recommendation letter, reiterating the main points), VISITED them and told them about myself and that this was my top choice, AND when my labmate said that she would write a recommendation letter for me, egged her on to do it.
Might this be a case of over-exposure? *wince*
I might have killed my chances, or raised unnecessary expectations, or even resentment.
Oh nooooo :(
It's been 52 days since the deadline and I haven't heard back from them... or, come to think of it, from anybody else whom I applied to. I wish there could be a tracking system where I could see my status among all the candidates and modify my behavior as and when necessary.
Love the decision, feel good about it, and the birds are singing, the sky is blue, etc etc.
Now, I fear that I might have been a bit too aggressive towards getting my dream job. *Cringe*
D.J. is the post of lecturer at University of Pittsburgh. Awesome, right? I WANT this job. I would be good for them, and they would be good for me. Everyone wins.
But what if, in my confident (over-confident?) enthusiasm, I have put them off? Let me tell you what I did: put in my application, got my 3 referees to write their letters on time, then got my adviser to mail them (about 2 weeks after he sent the recommendation letter, reiterating the main points), VISITED them and told them about myself and that this was my top choice, AND when my labmate said that she would write a recommendation letter for me, egged her on to do it.
Might this be a case of over-exposure? *wince*
I might have killed my chances, or raised unnecessary expectations, or even resentment.
Oh nooooo :(
It's been 52 days since the deadline and I haven't heard back from them... or, come to think of it, from anybody else whom I applied to. I wish there could be a tracking system where I could see my status among all the candidates and modify my behavior as and when necessary.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Lessons, lessons and more lessons
Feels like I've just been learning stuff from a variety of people these past few weeks. I hope somebody in the world feels like they are learning things from me... might balance out things a bit and make me feel better.
Biggest lesson learned: from my son. It humbles me to say this, but my 1 year old son has a better attitude towards life, and especially towards ill health, than I do. No matter how shitty he feels (and he's had a pretty bad bout of some flu like illness), he always smiles and plays and is happy, as long as he is surrounded by family. No matter how hungry or tired he may be, he is ever willing to go exploring or try out something new.
Other lesson learned: from the man. Gosh, actually, strike that. There have been so many things that he wants me to improve upon that I don't even know where to start. I really need to think before I speak- that's the next biggest lesson learned.
Then from my mom: about how to engage little boys in play. My tendency is to give the kid a toy and expect him to learn how to play with it. I forget that unless I show him how to, and keep repeating this, he will never show any interest in it.
Enough things to ponder about for now.
Biggest lesson learned: from my son. It humbles me to say this, but my 1 year old son has a better attitude towards life, and especially towards ill health, than I do. No matter how shitty he feels (and he's had a pretty bad bout of some flu like illness), he always smiles and plays and is happy, as long as he is surrounded by family. No matter how hungry or tired he may be, he is ever willing to go exploring or try out something new.
Other lesson learned: from the man. Gosh, actually, strike that. There have been so many things that he wants me to improve upon that I don't even know where to start. I really need to think before I speak- that's the next biggest lesson learned.
Then from my mom: about how to engage little boys in play. My tendency is to give the kid a toy and expect him to learn how to play with it. I forget that unless I show him how to, and keep repeating this, he will never show any interest in it.
Enough things to ponder about for now.
Latest Waste of Time
is Rent the Runway (www.renttherunway.com).
Love the concept, love the website.
If you need a party dress (Western-style, that is) and you don't want to buy one, you go to Rent the Runway and rent one. They get designer clothes from previous seasons and rent them out for cheap. The clothes're clean, you get 2 sizes for free and you don't have to dry clean the clothes before returning them.
I had signed up for this about a year ago after reading about it on NYT, but never found a need to use it. Recently though, I got invited to a friend's wedding shower and wedding. Now, in my younger days, I might have pooh-poohed the idea of wearing some dress and said, with my nose obstinately up in the air, that I would wear a saree... and probably done it too.
Now, I am older and more Westernized and frankly (my younger self would have been horrified to hear this), I CAN'T handle a saree. Things jab into me from all ends, I feel suffocated in the skin tight blouses and God, I have turned into one of those detestable NRIs who lounge about in T shirts and baggy drawstring pants. I blame the drawstring pants entirely on the pregnancy. If I had never become pregnant, I would have never ventured to wear them and become suckered in. Now I can't let go. I have stepped into the dark side and going back will be impossible.
So where was I? Oh yes, the dresses for the shower etc. Long story short: went to the website, totally mesmerized by dresses with names like "Make Him Regret It dress"
or the "Bam Pow dress" (sounds better than it looks)
or "The Miss Mysterious Gown" (lovely, just perfectly lovely )
or even "The Passion Twist"
Really, half the fun is in the names!
The dress I have rented out (for $50) is comparatively quite conservative... no "Drive anybody crazy" dresses for me. But I think it's cute and I'm looking forward to wearing it
Love the concept, love the website.
If you need a party dress (Western-style, that is) and you don't want to buy one, you go to Rent the Runway and rent one. They get designer clothes from previous seasons and rent them out for cheap. The clothes're clean, you get 2 sizes for free and you don't have to dry clean the clothes before returning them.
I had signed up for this about a year ago after reading about it on NYT, but never found a need to use it. Recently though, I got invited to a friend's wedding shower and wedding. Now, in my younger days, I might have pooh-poohed the idea of wearing some dress and said, with my nose obstinately up in the air, that I would wear a saree... and probably done it too.
Now, I am older and more Westernized and frankly (my younger self would have been horrified to hear this), I CAN'T handle a saree. Things jab into me from all ends, I feel suffocated in the skin tight blouses and God, I have turned into one of those detestable NRIs who lounge about in T shirts and baggy drawstring pants. I blame the drawstring pants entirely on the pregnancy. If I had never become pregnant, I would have never ventured to wear them and become suckered in. Now I can't let go. I have stepped into the dark side and going back will be impossible.
So where was I? Oh yes, the dresses for the shower etc. Long story short: went to the website, totally mesmerized by dresses with names like "Make Him Regret It dress"
or the "Bam Pow dress" (sounds better than it looks)
or "The Miss Mysterious Gown" (lovely, just perfectly lovely )
or even "The Passion Twist"
Really, half the fun is in the names!
The dress I have rented out (for $50) is comparatively quite conservative... no "Drive anybody crazy" dresses for me. But I think it's cute and I'm looking forward to wearing it
Sunday, March 20, 2011
India trip Part I
I didn't realize what a toll jetlag can take- especially if you are a little baby.
Little Fellow (LF), in the space of 72 hours, has undertaken a 19h flight, endured cramped spaces and disorienting, shifting time zones, a barrage of new faces and higher noise levels, with a remarkable amount of patience and equanimity. He did throw a fit yesterday morning, when faced with yet another round of new faces, while being desperately tired, but that is totally excusable. But trying times are still ahead: the biggest and most urgent consequence is constipation. LF's digestive system, tending to be a bit creaky at the best of times, seems to have gone on a temporary strike. Next is the upcoming trip to easily one of the hottest places in India- Chennai. I called Chennai my home during my undergrad years, and in the 6 years since I left India, I always felt a great affection for it based on nostalgia. But now that I actually have to go there (and that too in March... of course, it could have been worse. It might have been April... or May or June or really, any month), I feel some trepidation. What if LF finds it unbearably hot and humid? What if he gets a bad headache? What if the food doesn't agree with him?
In the end, one can only prepare so much. This is something I learned from my mother-in-law, and it has served me well in the few months that I have put it to the test: There's no point worrying relentlessly about things outside one's control. One prepares as well as one can and then prays to the Big Being Above. There's something very liberating about this approach- there's a clear endpoint to planning and preparing for anything. And then one admits, "There. Can't do anything more. Please, oh Big Being Above, take over"
Little Fellow (LF), in the space of 72 hours, has undertaken a 19h flight, endured cramped spaces and disorienting, shifting time zones, a barrage of new faces and higher noise levels, with a remarkable amount of patience and equanimity. He did throw a fit yesterday morning, when faced with yet another round of new faces, while being desperately tired, but that is totally excusable. But trying times are still ahead: the biggest and most urgent consequence is constipation. LF's digestive system, tending to be a bit creaky at the best of times, seems to have gone on a temporary strike. Next is the upcoming trip to easily one of the hottest places in India- Chennai. I called Chennai my home during my undergrad years, and in the 6 years since I left India, I always felt a great affection for it based on nostalgia. But now that I actually have to go there (and that too in March... of course, it could have been worse. It might have been April... or May or June or really, any month), I feel some trepidation. What if LF finds it unbearably hot and humid? What if he gets a bad headache? What if the food doesn't agree with him?
In the end, one can only prepare so much. This is something I learned from my mother-in-law, and it has served me well in the few months that I have put it to the test: There's no point worrying relentlessly about things outside one's control. One prepares as well as one can and then prays to the Big Being Above. There's something very liberating about this approach- there's a clear endpoint to planning and preparing for anything. And then one admits, "There. Can't do anything more. Please, oh Big Being Above, take over"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)